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Should society lie so much about something so important?
When people cry out for help and tell those around them that they are getting desperate to find a partner, society tells them not to rush it, that "the right person" will come along when they least expect it. At least, that's the common answer that I see here in Yahoo! Answers, and it is the common message portrayed by the media.
But the reality is that many people are old and single. The "right person" doesn't always show up out of the blue. Especially if you are not actively searching. It might, but more often then not, he who doesn't look doesn't find.
Society promises people that they will find the right person and be happy. Is this really a good thing?
It seems to me like this is akin to a wealthy person promising the child of a poor family that Santa will give him that 70 inch ultra HD 3D TV and the new play-station for Christmas! A selfish promise, just like society's. A promise that shifts the responsibility of giving hope to the one asking for help. A promise that allows society to wash its hands of responsibility.
Wouldn't it be better if society was honest with people and, instead of telling them that the "damsel in distress", or "prince charming" will come along some day, told them the truth —to go out and look, and be prepared for let-downs over and over again; and to find some good hobbies because the reality is that they might never find someone that likes them, let alone loves them, let alone "the one"?
For some people, it is almost unrealistic to say that they are even likely to ever find anyone at all! It is a sad reality that in this world not everyone is good looking, or good company, but it is the reality we live in. Isn't lying to these people ultimately worse than having them face reality and move on to doing something different with their lives?
It seems that this is an issue that many people face at some point in their lives: the ordeal of finding a sexual partner.
Since it is such a huge problem for so many people, and a problem nobody deals with well, maybe there should be a class in high school that taught people how to look, and how to deal with not finding the right partner, or any partner.
It should be a class that you must take in order to graduate, but you can chose which year to take it in. That way, the students can take it when they feel it's time, without the ridicule of it being "the one who had to take the sex class", since it is a required course.
After coming to the realization that I might never find the right girl, it sucked, but after some time, I have come to terms with it, and have even gotten to the point where I feel like I can be content and live a fulfilling life without all of that. Isn't that better than waiting your entire life, and realizing this too late? Isn't it better to realize this early rather than late, when you have spent so much of your life waiting for happiness that was never to come?
What are your thoughts?
Thank you for your comments.
I would like to note that I only mentioned love once. It is not so much a question about love, as it is about finding a partner regardless of whether there is even love involved.
Also, I never said that people who lack appeal should not love. Especially friends, family or children! I refer solely to romantic relationships, and on other people's feelings at that, not the individual.
One can live a life full of love without it involving a romantic partner.
I understand that romantic love is incredible. But that is why it hurts people who can't obtain it all the more. The media portrays it as something that everyone receives sooner or later. That is simply not true
And with regards to the fact that the media should not be able to influence a person so much.... Yes, I agree, but what is ideal and what is actually the case are two different things. Every movie about romance says the same. I have never seen a SINGLE movie, or show, or book, or websit
e that portrays the message that people often never find a partner. If the media's portrayal of the ideal body image can make people starve themselves to death, is it so unlikely that some will become severely depressed over not finding the partner they are supposed to find, perhaps even to the point of suicide?
I think it's incredible that anorexia gets so much attention while this doesn't. This might cause more depression than body image portrayals!
4 Answers
- 8 years agoFavorite Answer
I partially agree with your point. It's obvious to everyone that nobody is perfect, and no one will ever find the perfect somebody. Relationships don't just start with perfect couples; perfect relationships are built through time and patience, and maybe even heated up arguments. I think society today has given up that building block, and want to directly try to find the perfect somebody.
However, I don't think we should blame the media. I agree that the media hides a lot from us and tells us lies, but we all must understand this point; we're not all that stupid. I think "waiting for the perfect person" is just an excuse to make people feel better when they are desperate for their soul mate.
Love is an amazing thing, and sometimes, you need the time to find that someone. But that doesn't mean you should increase your expectations for the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife. You'll be single forever if that's the case.
Edit in regards to the media: Then again, there is that one possibility the media wants us to wait for the right person until we die...that way, less babies will be born, and the world won't be as overpopulated...o.o haha!
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Edit: I thank you for adding additional comments. In regards to the media, I think that's what people are after; the people want stories to have a happy ending. Stories and movies are like pieces of art work, sometimes ideal, while other times, bitter but beautiful. So in this aspect, I think people would want to engage in the ideal aspects, which, in love stories, is two people getting together and loving one another until death do them apart. It's better to separate the notion of media being a hypnotizer and the notion of movies/stories as pieces of art. I think we need to clear this out first, before coming with the conclusion that society is "lying," or that the cause of our depression is from some influence of the media (to some extent). I hope my reply will clear some confusion. Of course, this is how I see reality. You may indeed see it another way. In this case, please do give some feed back.
- wishnuwelltooLv 78 years ago
I think you are right. We spoon feed little girls that some man will come along and marry them and take care of them and they will never have another problem as long as they live. We start with the Bible, then fairy tales about a Prince Charming and even romance novels....but in reality 80% of women in society today are against marriage because they are tired of being treated like a slave just to have a place to live. I think we should teach mental illness in schools so that women know how to spot an abuser before they marry one. I think women should be raised to take care of themselves and if they get married......well great and if they don't.......well that is great too.
- JodyLv 78 years ago
Personally I would rather live my lifetime with the hope of love and the possibility of love, than to give up hope and live a lifetime without love, without the possibility of love, and without any hope of love.
An individual should not allow "society" to have that much power over them, neither to take or give them hope..as you said, you came to your own realization.
Love can come from many sources, and I can bestow my love in many ways. Love is the most powerful force in the universe, why should I throw mine away just because I don't have a suitable mate? Can I not still love my children, grandchildren, friends, pets, country, garden? And can they not love me?