What is wrong with me??? Can I have a Girlfriend or will I be single forever? Suicide is tempting me?

Question

I need some advice. I am a nice guy, I am short but athletic. I am in college and have still not been able to have a girlfriend. I have only ever been close enough to date one girl, but she wasn't interested. Dating is all I want right now. It is my dream to get married to someone that I can look at as awesome. I don't think I know how to flirt well enough. I am also a Christian, so I will wait to get married to lose my virginity, but I really feel the need for that intimacy soon. I am pretty outgoing and lead a bible study at my school. I don’t understand why no one ever wants to love me, I feel like worn out and I am starting to feel hopeless. I want to believe that I will get married someday but right now I really just need a girlfriend and some affection. I might be ugly, but I still need to feel like some part of me or my life is attractive to somebody. I was blessed with an awesome dad, one of the biggest blessings ever in my life has been my dad, and I would like to believe that he raised me to be a good husband and father. I fear not being able to experience those things and really want a chance to give that blessing to my kids, but they have to exist.

I am 20 and act confidant and am complimented often on how fun I am but I am really lonely and I feel looked down upon by most every female. I feel forgotten. People say to be patient and I am getting better about that, but I still want to grow myself and when I do get a chance with a girl I like I don't want to let her down!

I fear not getting married. I believe that I would eventually just go to work and come home and be depressed and not interact with any people and maybe even commit suicide. I love people; I guess I am just not a lovable person.

Believe it or not I am a positive confidant person unless my dating life is the topic. I feel so lonely and forgotten. Often I want to roll over and die, but I know my purpose is bigger than that. Consistent singleness makes me feel so unattractive and like a jerk, the worst feeling of all is feeling wasted.

I approach some girls, but only get rejected. I am the type of person who would date someone who was already my friend. Otherwise a relationship would feel fake anyways.

I am starting to get parental and even pastoral pressure to date, and obviously I want to. I want to do simple things. I would love to be a father and a husband someday. I can't seem to ever have a moment of affection: a kiss, sexual hug (special, could be touchy, long or just from someone who doesn't hug everyone), even a date. I feel like I am everything that I want to be and still no one will give me any affection. I feel the need to touch some of my sexuality. I want a girlfriend more than I should, but I really want one.

I want to give all that I am to someone, but nobody seems to want my love. So naturally I want to change everything that I can for the better. How can they know me and see that I actually want to love them?

I am desperate (I am on Christian mingle and plenty of fish), I know that. I think that comes off a lot more in my writing than in my life, but any ideas as to how I can hide that and actually date someone?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

ok first off ypu may be making yourself a little tooo available and girls can see that your.desperate and that is a big turn down for most girls.. you can be patient all you want.but its all about the way you present yourself to society and the dating community. you are only 20 just chill. I know being lonely sucks but what are your options im sorry you feel the way you do but if things are meant to be theyll happen if not than they wont. keep your head up and play it cool.. make her want you.give her a.challenge dont go.all in at first its all for nothing if you do. hope this helps...

Anonymous · Answer

okay first off, girls don't like guys who are so desperate in love unless he is joking about it.
secondly, act confident. whatever situation you are in, don't be afraid to show your opinions and always act confidently.
thirdly, girls like guys who are humorous. show them your jokes, pick-up lines help with most of the girls.
fourthly, get a new make-over. get a new haircut, get something that looks mature because girls love guys who look mature. casual clothes will do, but sometimes we girls find something that's bit formal and at the same time sexy.
fifthly, be comfortable alone. be self-confident even though you are alone. don't act so desperate. we love guys who have self-sufficiency. it's an extreme sexy point.
sixth, approach tons of girls on a consistent basis. if you find someone attractive. get out and meet her. show some of your manly likable qualities but be aware in every word that comes out of your mouth. you don't want to sound desperate in any way.
seventh, be yourself to the extreme. if something she tells you don't find funny, don't laugh just because she is laughing. don't try to be something you are not.
eight, go out and meet more people. be a social butterfly. the more people you meet, the bigger pool of people you'll have to choose from. don't be picky about who you meet or how you meet him—the nice old man down the street may have a gorgeous granddaughter your age and the somewhat annoying girl from last night's party might have a friend who's perfect for you.
ninth, go out and pursue your hobbies. you might find a girl who is like you 100%
tenth, be flirty. but not too much. you might sound a player if you flirt too much. so flirt normally.
lastly, be patient. your future gf might cross your path tomorrow or in the next two years. or else you might end up forcing the wrong person into the girlfriend role, which will cause pain for everyone involved. so be willing to wait.

pantano · Answer

RE: Do you think of it&#39;s incorrect to stay single consistently? I&#39;m 34 and not had a female buddy, never had intercourse (the main &#39;intimate factor I&#39;ve executed with a female grew to become right into a kiss on the cheek lol), you spot the way it is going. I propose, I already artwork 10 hours an afternoon, I easily have human beings bothering me each and all of the time (it&#39;s like this on engineering), so when I get homestead...

SkyHeartMan · Answer

Man im just like you all i can say the time will.come when it comes just be more patient relax and try to stop thinking about it God loves you Suicide isnt a option Try going on online dating maybe there you can meet someone

Helpful Guy · Answer

I feel sorry for you. If you go on the internet, you can SEARCH for phone numbers to FREE COUNSELORS who can listen to you anytime of the day or night! Go to any search engine and just type in "free counseling hotline"... (I'm not allowed to tell you the numbers because it will violate the Answers Community Guidelines and/or Yahoo! Terms of Service.)

Aravindh · Answer

I kinda face a similar situation man! All I can say is suicide isn't a good option ... Time heals everything,so just be patient, one day you will find ur girl.... I really liked the way "blue" has answered this question,it in a way helped me thanks blue!

HateStoopidPpl · Answer

I understand your feelings. I once had those same feelings too. just give it some time and you will get a good girl

? · Answer

Seconds from the end what's it gonna be pull the trigger b****. Ask god. Not sinful humans and if you kill yourself remember you won't ever love.

Trending News

What is wrong with me??? Can I have a Girlfriend or will I be single forever? Suicide is tempting me?

8 Answers