Why do couples break up?

There are a lot of reasons, but I think the biggest is that they just grow apart...they don't invest the time needed to stay connected. A lot of people don't realize you have to work at it. It's very easy to slip apart, esp. if you have kids or careers or both.

In my experience and from what I see with friends, couples break up because one or both of them are being selfish and not working hard enough to keep there lives moving in the same direction. Or one of them is selfish and cheats. or one is selfish and does not care when the other tires to tell them they are not happy.

The key to a happy realtionship is to actually LISTEN to your partner and actually make sacrifices and meet inthe middle of issues. Like for example, if you really love someone and you want to get married in the next year, but that person got a wonderful job offer in another country that they would love to do. Instead of telling them you dont want them to go because you are in school here, you tell them ok go and we will work the rest out and I will wait to marry you. Things like that.

Patience, true acceptance, communication and sacrifice are what people need to stay together. These days people are pretty selfish and jsut want what they want fast. Thats why so many people get divorced I think, selfishness.

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RE:

Why do couples break up?

It could be the death of infatuation.

Infatuation is very exciting, but is a fantasy, rather than intimacy. Infatuation is caused by brain chemistry, and since the brain always seeks to restore itself to normal, infatuation always dies out. When it dies out, when the other person no longer literally makes us "high", at least half the time one or the other loses interest in the relationship.

As for couples who have survived the death of infatuation, and stayed together .. but later break up:

Couples can go one of two ways. The first way is the way that about 85% of all married couples follow (the % is even higher among those who do not legally marry):

1. You did something.

2. Now I feel hurt. I don't WANT to feel hurt.

3. So I get angry. To hide my hurt, to make myself not feel helpless, to try to make YOU change so I won't hurt again.

4. You feel hurt that I am angry. And you don't WANT to feel hurt. So you get angry. For the same reasons.

5. Now we have a power struggle, and things escalate until we either break up, or we become alienated (those "dead marriages" you hear about).

The other direction is this:

1. You did something.

2. Now I feel hurt. I don't WANT to feel hurt.

3. So I work with myself and my own emotions.

By doing my own "emotional work", I allow you to be yourself, which - combined with my love - makes the relationship blossom. And if you do the same thing for me, the relationships grows. We both feel safe with each other because we know that the other person appreciates us just as we are, that the other person isn't going to lose their love for us because we don't "measure up". And in this environment of safety, true psychological intimacy starts to grow. It is psychological intimacy that creates that sense of unity, the closeness that draws couples into a relationship.

In long-term relationship, you either accept or you risk losing the relationship. You either take responsibility for your own emotions or you risk losing the relationship. Make no mistake .. this is VERY difficult mature work that needs to be done. On and in ourselves.

Sometimes one of the persons involved are ready to grow up and move on to a different kind of life and the other person is not ready for that type of change. Sometimes a person hurts the other one too bad to mend. Sometimes time reveals the differences in personality are far too great for them to cope with. Whatever reasons are given, any guy can make it work with any girl if they BOTH are willing to put in the time and energy.

Sometimes things just doesn't work out for better. Divorce is very painful yet for some it's a relief. Depending upon the reason why it ended in first place.

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They break up as they are not satisfied in their real life and need separation to find it.

Coz things cant go well !!

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