How do you become friends with someone who doesn't talk?

do either of you have an autistic spectrum disorder? a lot of people with aspergers have trouble speaking, though are highly inteligent. its not that they cant speak, but they just prefer not to.

since youre chatting w him fine on fb, continue to do that. you could also ask for his mobile number if you dont have it, and text him.

i have aspergers, and my propensity and ability to speak varies; today i can talk for hours. last week i didnt want to speak at all, and in between it has varied. email is helpful, as i can collect my thoughts, and communicate when i feel like it. if i dont want to speak, it feels uncomfortable to make eye contact, and though i can have a long conversation in my head, it doesnt translate to my mouth~ its really hard to explain. my mouth just wont work, somehow.

many people with aspergers have trouble speaking in one way or another, and your- no offense- random conversation w a girl about a shoe sounds kind of quirky : ) making noises is a classic symptom of AS. he certainly sounds like he has it, and you may too. people with As tend to be well above the normal IQ rage, but many find being social a bit dificult.

keep chatting as you guys are, but just ask him more questions- people love to talk about themselves or their interests when asked intelligent or interesting questions, given the chance. he may not want to open up about himself at first, but may be happy to discuss his collection of rare agates or whatever, and expand on what draws him in to that. from there you can progress to more general, or personal topics.

you can also just have normal high school converstions, like about what classes you like, what you want to do next year, over the summer, or after you graduate.

if he, or anyone else, gives a short answer, ask a further question-like

-what do you want to do at college?

-earth science, but im not 100% sure.

- which aspect do you like most? how did you get interested in it? do you collect much, do out on trips to find more? what would you like to do with a degree in it? field work, or lab work?

see a conversation as a pathway, with stepping stones- each one can lead you in a number of different directions, as well as forward. its practise, really, to learn to understand what to ask next. youre both smart, so prob have unusual interests. think how stoked youd be if someone asked you about your weird hobby- man, id be thrilled to the core if someone asked me about the 712634591 books ive collected.

try posting on an aspergers forum, for people to explain in depth how to buld up friendships, and make conversation more eaily. even if you dont have aspergers, people will explain it in depth, from having had to learn to do it, rather than just going 'hey, just be more confident, and youll make more friends' etc, which youll get elsewhere.

this is a really good quiz for aspergers- if it says youre an aspie (have aspergers) you should look into getting diagnosed, as you could then get help and advice on socialising more. http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

haha, here's sheldon on the big bang theory with his friendship algorithm. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0xgjUhEG3U on the whiteboard, and in the book store~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0h0qZCjR_k

hillarious :D

but yeah. bascially he's spot on.

Have you asked anyone if he has some sort of speech impediment? If you try to understand his situation better then i think you might be able to come to terms with his way of communicating and perhaps eventually even get him to open up about it. For now i would sugest taking baby steps, talk to him and expect him to respond in his usual way.Try making him laugh or find common interests and that should bring you closer.

Good luck

Hi.Here comes an answer from Beijing

As I'm still studying in the middle school, my English might be a little bit difficult for you to understand. 

I think I'm just the same kind with the kid you mentioned. I always try my best not to talk with others while I'm in school. It's quiet difficult for me to explain my reason, maybe I just don't feel like opening my mouth.

To communicate with friends, I choose to send emails with them. We can hardly find any specific topic but we just try our best to keep in touch. I think if you do want to be friends with him and you do show him how you feel kindly,sooner or later he will accept you as one of his best friends. Just try more on-line talks, at least it works on well with teenagers in our class.

Sorry for my poor grammar and spelling. Hope you can understand my Chinglish...

Talk with him, ask questions you think would relate to him as well.

Don't just introduce yourself and talk to someone else he will feel left out and disheartened.

He's obviously shy and you're going to need to break that barrier. Don't talk loudly or do over exgarated things near him, since he's shy try to talk to his level soften your voice or whatever.

Hope this helped.

i also have that kind of friend. just make him comfortable when he's around you and talk to him about his interests. just talk to him. A LOT.

If he does not talk then you text him. Looks like another Voldemort in making.

M