first two paragraphs of my english GCSE coursework, is it any good?

At different stages in their life, one will have witnessed different turning points, for example school to university, falling in love, death, and this can affect how one interprets the turning point in two texts. To observe these reflections one must consider the lexical choices, sentence structure and figurative language.

There is one volta in Out, Out- by Robert Frost, between the accident and the arrival of the doctor. This is shown by the use of short, simple sentences after the volta indicating the proximity of death. Before the volta there are many commas which develop the pace at rhythm, but after there are few intervals and just the ends, making one recognize the approach of death through. One is shown the occurrence of death, “little-less-nothing” which is seen as a euphemism of one death amongst many of the time. The turning point of Electricity Comes to Cocoa Bottom by Marcia Douglas is somewhat different to Out, Out- but they have the same consequence that “the moment had passed”. In the first stanza of Electricity… the sentences are long and complex, but as the poem progresses they get shorter and more simple. This is indicating towards the volta, where it becomes more sudden, and economic, showing one the end. In both Out,Out- and Electricity… the sentence lengths decrease, and the plot of the poem becomes more bereaved as they “turned to their affairs” and “lit their lamps for the dark journey home.