What is the best/inexpensive way to learn how to write books?

Bored old people have so many cool stories.

The day we buried my mother we went back to her home from the grave site. A few hours later when only siblings were finalizing moms last moments, we ordered pizzas. We sat in a circle in the front room eating pizza and shedding tears. I got up to get a drink and when I got back, I sat down. Oh my, everyone was laughing, my boomba felt wet and squishy. I flung the cloth to my skirt around to see a fat ugly piece of pizza. The ice broke and laughter began. What do you think?