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I don't care what anyone says. There is no happiness after divorce?
I have been divorced for almost a year and a half. Married for 15 years, together for 22. My then wife had an affair in the work place. I divorced her shortly after learning about it. I am pretty much over her, but not the fact of being a split family. We were drifting apart and we both knew it. But we were and are both excellent parents. We have two awesome kids that we both love dearly. The ex and I shared in the same dreams of a whole loving family. I was willing to work things out even after the affair, but she was too much in la la land with her married lover. I never thought in my wildest dreams that we would be a broken family. Always had dreams of the whole family around the dinner table at holidays, birth days, lazy saturday mornings still in our pj's until noon or later. Now, all of that is gone forever. My kids will have a step mother/step father, step brothers and sisters at some point in their lives. I never wanted that for my kids. I love them so much and were such a close little family. We took the kids to a neutral place to tell them of the divorce. My 9 yr old daughter hit her knees screaming NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! over and over again.No matter if I meet the the most perfect woman on earth, beautiful, rich, funny, loving, caring and a bag of chips - it still will never be the same. Divorce sucks! I love my kids so much, my heart breaks for them.
2 Answers
- Anonymous8 years agoFavorite Answer
My husband was in your position. Though he didn't tell his kids about the divorce as his ex-wife insisted on being the one to tell them and the boys were 14, 16 and 17.
He thought his life was over, he thought he would never be happy again, he resigned himself to a life of aloneness, loneliness and separation from his sons.
Then a few years later we met. I am not perfect, I am far from amazing, but I love him and he loves me, and he is happy again. His sons now have three people to turn to and three people who think of them and love them.
His ex and he are not on great terms as she was upset that he remarried as she was happy being single but having him to call whenever she wanted anything, which she did and he did go running to her. But the lads are grown now and my husband and his ex are amicable at family events so all is okay.
Your life as you knew it is over. Your dreams of your family just have to change. You can still have the lazy days with your kids, you can still have the family meals with your kids, you just can't have it with your wife as your wife too. You might even be able to get together with your wife and your kids for things and have fun together. But you are not married anymore, so things have to adapt slightly.
You might fall in love again in time, you might not. Your wife might remarry, she might not.
But your kids will not lose you or their mom, unless you or their mother cause that to happen. They might gain an extra step parent or two, and that is good as it is more love for them.
Try to stay friendly with your ex, without being hung up on hoping to reconcile, she has made it pretty clear she won't ever want that.
And your kids need both parents, the fact you live apart is not as big a deal for them as you might think.
I wish you happiness.
- Anonymous8 years ago
Divorce sucks, I am not gonna say the opposite. But your wife was not the one who was meant for you since she strayed and went with another man, put her happiness above yours and even sacrificed her own family for the sake of an affair with a married man. I am not going to judge, who knows what her reasons were. Maybe just incompatibility with you. One day you will meet a woman who may not be perfect, beautiful, rich, funny, loving, caring and a bag of chips but she will just be the one with whom you will comunicate easily, she will love and understand you unconditionally, she will be only with and for you, she will be simple and you will adore her. Of course you can still look after your kids from your first marriage. So...to answer your question: yes, there is happiness after divorce. This experience made you more mature and stronger, it will be useful in the future as now you know yourself better. Best wishes to you!