What do you think of this story idea?

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It's about a post-apocalyptic world and is based mainly in two fictional areas named Silver City and Salsborough. Silver City is basically a HQ for a man named Kess Stone - a dictator who took control of the entire world after every government leader and anyone with threatening authority such as the President, Prime Minister, Members of Parliament, members of the U.N vanished.

Silver City is full of richer families and Kess' henchmen known as the White Soldiers because of the gleaming white clothes they wear. They can shoot who they want and take people off the streets for reasons such as they didn't like them; committing a crime; badmouthing the government or Kess etc.

Salsborough on the other hand is a rough desert-like area full of outlaws, alcoholics and drug-addicts. Most people there are poor, diseased and children are lucky to finish primary school let alone high school or higher education. It's rundown and is often filled with White Soldiers attempting to keep an ever-growing resistance at a low.

The main character is a strange new boy called Finn who seemed to just 'fall out of the sky'. With no ID, records of him and no background information, two people immediately become interested in protecting him, believing him to be the savior. The two people, Charlie, an alcoholic in his mid thirties who's family were taken from him by White Soldiers ten years ago and a seventeen year old college student Callum 'Caz' Parker.

Finn soon finds himself stuck in a war he knows nothing about. With the rebellion on his left and the government on his right, Finn needs to choose who's side he's on and fast. As well as being pulled into an explosion of war, he's desperately trying to figure out who and what he is...something both sides seem to be keeping from him...

Please don't just put "It's rubbish" or "It's good". Would really appreciate some proper constructive criticism otherwise, don't bother giving your opinion.

Ham · Accepted Answer

Well, first off I personally wouldn't be sharing story ideas, especially one this detailed, on the internet. People will steal it :P

Now for the review: It sounds interesting. I wouldn't have the big world powers suddenly "just vanish," though; unless it's a plot point that they were all assassinated. Just make sure by the end of the story something actually happened to them. Keep the story plausible. 

Finn falling out of the sky randomly reminds me of the boy in Ixion Saga DT, about a boy who randomly fell out of the sky and was placed into a giant war. Though it's completely a comedy, and isn't serious at all so it doesn't matter too much xD

I would also, personally, change the main character's name from Finn into something else, since Finn is way too a popular name in this day and age to make you seem creative character-wise. Make it a creative, personal name that people can remember.

Otherwise, it sounds really interesting and like it'd make a great action movie or something :P Keep in mind while you're writing it, that while the plot and background and "story idea' obviously has to be interesting, make sure the characters are, too. I'm not saying they aren't currently, it's just there are so many things I have read and watched with great plots and bad characters with non-realistic, non-plausible actions and interactions with each other. It just frustrates me.

Good luck! :)

Jeronimas · Answer

Story is as old as books. Plot is nice, but I have definitely read it then I was a kid. Even that new movie with Justin Timberlake sounds similar. There is always white color soldiers and stuff. It's getting old. Oh and an alcoholic, that is not original. Think of something different, because now it sounds like all other stories.

EveryBitEpic · Answer

+1 for not being a vampire novel.

Seems a bit Bastion-y.

And a little like Incarceron.

I would probably read it, but this isn't much to go on. A very abstract abstract, but a promising start.

Carina · Answer

It actually reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode that I saw.  Is Finn a Christ figure?  These stories are popular, just please be careful putting your ideas online like that.  There are idea thieves out there.

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What do you think of this story idea?

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