Married people: How do you resolve money fights?

Question

My wife and I have a money discussion every couple months.  She gets frustrated when I tell her we're spending more than we can afford to.  She then gets defensive and tries justifying all her purchases.  (They are valid, she's not buying too many non-necessities.)  Whenever I bring up a possible solution like lowering our car payment, I get no response.  My guess is because she knows when my car is paid off, we're getting her a new one.

My frustration comes partly out of jealousy.  I make 75% of the money but spend nearly nothing.  I work 5 days and she works 3.  I pack my lunch to save money, yet we still spend as much or more than we make.  I cannot get her to understand that I'm not attacking her purchases, I'm pointing out that if we bring in $700 a week but have $800 in expenses a week, that's a problem (even if the $800 are necessary and justified.)

When you and your spouse can't see eye to eye on money, how do you resolve it?

??? · Accepted Answer

Life should get more manageable the more we earn, but I find that most people these days just spend more to make up the difference. They're always living paycheck to paycheck because they feel comfortable that way, whether they want to admit it or not.

I would tell her that since she doesn't like your ideas, it's up to her to find a way to save or earn x amount a month. If you already have an agreement to pay your car off early so she can get one, I would stick to that, but there are other ways of saving ... getting rid of cable is an easy one, especially since so many shows can be downloaded (legally) for free.

mamaw2305 · Answer

Money problem are a major downfall in many marriages.You both have to have a budget and have to stick to it.You can not spend more than you have coming in.Sometimes it is better to have a checking for bills and a savings for pleasure.Bills are first to be paid and if you have any left over then spend it wisely.Once you get on a budget , things go more smoothly and if the wife don't like how things go then she needs to work more hours to help out.It takes two level headed people to make it work out.

? · Answer

i do our check book and he stays out of it, even tho i dont work at he works 6 days a week. he cant handle money and doesnt pay things on time, even if there is plenty of money. The person who is best at the money needs to do it all the time i think, but im kinda bossy too

? · Answer

I have no work my husband give all his money to me to budgeted..I pay bills..food, schools..groceries and other bills,taxes that we need to paid.and the other is on my wallet but if he want buy to himself I give him bc his the breadwinner and he deserb it..but if got empty he know already and we talk that no one can buy stuff untill the next payday...we never argue or fight about money bc its always there.important is both of us understand that we never let money effect to our relationship.

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Married people: How do you resolve money fights?

4 Answers