Food for English project!?

I had a project like that in school. Even today I am still not good in baking but stir fries are my forte. My partner and I made a chocolate cake and you guess it, it was a disaster even though we follow the recipe exactly what it said and told us what to do. Its more like a chocolate bread. We thought we were going to fail and in any case, what the heck to do something else for the presentation than presenting a cracked chocolate bread cake which did not look and taste like a chocolate cake. So, in frustration, we just crumple the cake, and then in serenpidity in crumpling, we added rum to moist it and we began to form small balls, dipped the small balls in chocolate syrup and then rolled it over some chocolate rice to present it as Rum Balls. We got an A, I guess the teacher got high with the rum *

1) Toaster pastry topped with Velveeta

2) Shaved fish with a dog placenta sauce

3) Goat pubic hair tossed with lettuce and radishes

4) Crystal meth