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Could I legally move out of my parents' house?
I'm 15, turning 16 in July. The conditions in my home are quite honestly disgusting, it's full to the brim with rubbish that we don't need (to the point that we can't physically get into 3 of 7 rooms) and I sleep in the same room as my dad and two of my older brothers in bunk beds, while my other older brother sleeps in a caravan we used to use for holidaying. My mum sleeps on the sofa in the living room, which again we can barely get into. The house is infested (well, I say infested..) with mice, slugs due to damp and God only knows what else since we don't have a clue what's in the inaccessible rooms.
I'm not neglected, I get food, care, etc., it's just the state of my house and garden. I think if child services knew about the condition of my house, they'd probably remove me from my parent's care until I was at least 16 (I'm not entirely sure about this). I've never had anyone visit me in my house so I feel that this has socially held me back and effectively ruined my childhood.
However, I started a relationship with someone last July and we've been together since; we've had our ups and downs, but what couple doesn't? My boyfriend turned 16 last November and we're a genuine couple, not an immature relationship that'll last a year at most, we're both in it for the long haul. He's planning on getting a job at a farm nearby (it's practically guaranteed since the manager of the farm he currently lives on knows the manager of this farm), and if he gets the job he'll be given a flat nearby to live in so that he's close to the farm. My boyfriend said that it's a possibility that if he gets this job and flat that I could move in with him to get away from my house and my slightly possessive mother (I know she's supposed to look after me, but I think she's being obsessive over my safety). Because of this reason, I don't think my mother would give consent to my moving out, but my dad is more flexible and has previously said, "I don't mind what my kids do, as long as they're happy."
It's only a 20 minute drive from my current house so it's not like I'd be cutting all connections with them. It would be easier to get a job for me since it's in a large village with lots of shops etc., so I would probably be able to be fairly financially stable if I were to move there. I'm also planning on continuing my education in sixth form.
I just don't think I'll be able to cope with the social and mental aspects of living in such a neglected house; just recently our new neighbour complained to the council about our back garden so we're clearing it up before they come back to check it out again, but I think as long as they don't see the inside of the house, nothing will be done about the conditions inside. I don't think it's a suitable place to raise any child, and I don't want to spend the rest of my teen years being socially deprived like I am now.
So, at 16, would I be able to legally move out of my current residence to more comfortable housing, with possibly one parent's consent?
Thank you for any answers.
I forgot to mention, I'm in England - the South East/Midlands if that makes a difference.
I've been saying to friends for years that I want to move out as soon as possible, but I guess I've never really taken myself seriously until now; this isn't just a 'because I've got a boyfriend' thing. He's simply provided me with the means to do what I've been wanting to do for years. My boyfriend and I will obviously have to come to some agreement about breaking up and things like that. I know he's not the type of person to kick me out if we broke up, even if he hated me through and through, he'd have the compassion to let me stay until I have things otherwise sorted.
I would most likely go back to my parents, even if it's not perfect, but maybe me moving out would give them the incentive to do something about the house (fingers crossed?).
8 Answers
- pragmatism_rulesLv 78 years agoFavorite Answer
Fortunately, you are in the UK and since everyone else is leaving home at 16, why not you? Just remember you won't be going back. If I were you, AFTER you are gone, I would tip off social services as to the conditions of your home. Your parents will be made to clean it up or they will lose custody of their remaining children. And if you need more advice, you should contact the Citizen's Advice Bureau as they know UK law better than we do. Good luck and God bless.
- Anonymous8 years ago
This is a case for Social Services, Environmental Health and The Council that houses you.
As for your sleeping arrangements you are not meant at 15/16 to be sharing a room with your father and two brothers. That is a real 'No No' at your stage in your life.
Your not considered at adult, but if you were to talk to a trusted teacher or the school nurse help can be given to you if you want it. It may be in a Foster home for a while but it would give you a bridging point before taking the major step of moving in for your boyfriend when the time comes.
- JonLv 78 years ago
Once you are 16 it would not be practical for your parents to legally compel you to return to their home.
However you need to make sure that you will have somewhere else to live and something to live on:
- you will probably not be able to claim any benefits until you are 18. Can you find some work?
- you write that your boyfriend will be "given" a flat. What does this mean? Will he be renting it in the usual way? Will it come with his job, arranged by his employer? Is it really a self-contained flat or will he be a lodger? He needs to check whether he will be allowed to have you there with him. If it is a normal rental of a self-contained flat then he can, but if it is provided by his employer or is actually lodgings then this may not be allowed.
- 8 years ago
Well your living conditions don't seem to be the greatest so like someone else on here said, you should probably look into emancipation. But, I have to ask... if you didn't have this bf of yours...would you have wanted to leave home? And if everything works out with his job and you guys do get to move in together then that's great and all...but what if you break up? You just gonna move back home? Would you want to go back to those conditions? If you are as mature as you say you are then you need to have concrete things in place to support yourself, regardless of if your bf can take care of you or not. Things you need to consider. All the best!
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- Anonymous8 years ago
im in usa, and legally here you can move out when youre 18 .
this is when you can control your life. however, your living conditions are bad and i understand. my mother makes my house a dump.
So essentially, for your own good and for less stress, you need to move out.
You need to have a job, but all financial and health things will still go through your mother or parents im assuming.
if your mother raises a fuss, you need to raise a fuss as well. if you have to call child services and tell them what your mother does, then you should. a cluttered and messy house is not a good stress free environment to grow up in.
and with an apartment, you can have sex and do whatever you want all the time. so win win there.
- Mickey FinnLv 68 years ago
As I understand it, you'd have to petition a court to declare you an emancipated minor. Or move to Australia.
- 8 years ago
Google emancipation , it's the legal way to get yourself on your own before you are 18
