i feel that i need help?

Hi, this is a 45 year old single gay white male who has never had a relationship. No one knows who I am but my secret is so hard to keep. I've spent all my life in the closet, except for a minister I confided in when I was a teenager. He told my parents, who never forgave me. They're both gone now. I live in a town where my orientation is neither discussed nor condoned. I cannot come out because I would lose both of my jobs. In this town, people like me can be fired or evicted just for being GLBT. There is no PFLAG chapter here, and no gay bars. I don't really have friends, and both my jobs keep me too busy for a social life. Another reason I can't tell my co-workers is because I can tell by their conversations that they wouldn't approve. Enduring verbal arrows, though not directly intended for me, is so hard, know what I mean? I have always known that it wouldn't be easy, but it has been a lot more difficult than I thought. What do you recommend that I do?