dragon age 2 is it possible to rivalmance merrill as a female?

I am playing dragon age 2 and I am trying very hard to rivalmance (romance but with rivalry) merril- I know how to do this as a male, as I have done before, but I try the same things as a female, and I can get her to not approve, but I can't get her to rival me at all. I've been looking online but I'm having issues, is it possible to rivalmance her as a female? Can someone show me a guide or just tell me how? I would be willing to restart the game if need be, I'm not too far into it.