Why does my girlfriend want so many kids?

You need to sort thing issue out with her BEFORE the wedding!!!!

Okay so I think she may want a big family due to the fact that she came from a large family. Usually people who come from big families tend to want the same for themselves when they get married. Yes the Lord did say be fruitful and multiply...but hey you gotta be also wise when it comes to that. Children, especially multiple children are a lot of responsibility and money, especially in these hard economic times. You need to sit down with her and ask her what's her real reason for wanting so many? Why can't she compromise with you and meet half way. She should not be forcing you to do anything and certainly not by force. Next thing she'll get off birth control ( if she's on) or even poke holes in your condoms. Anyway, since y'all are engaged you can always back out and run the other way if things turn out sour as in, if you both can't meet in the middle. But don't wait till after the wedding to discuss this! This is something that needs to be addressed.

Clearly, just talking about this between the two of you isn't working. There are several things you can do.

One is to insist on premarital counseling. You need to talk about this issue with a professional. If either of you belongs to a church, then the priest or minister will talk to you in advance of getting married. Other religions have this too: go to your house of worship and ask. If you're not religious, find a therapist or marriage counselor. I strongly suggest you start this process now, before you go further.

If you can't afford counseling, then I suggest you sit down and figure out a budget of how much kids cost. Not just diapers, but the whole thing. Consider spending money to raise kids over 25 or 30 years. Figure out everything: the cost of food, the cost of diapers at about three years per child, even the cost of school pictures twice a year x $40 per kid x six kids. There's a lot to include. You can ask her parents for guidelines, they would know. Also put in saving 10% of your salary for retirement and %10 for emergencies. Include that she won't be able to work with so many kids so you'll have to support the entire family. Go to the store and get prices on things and add 3% a year for inflation. Just seeing some numbers might help her see that this is a really expensive idea.

The real problem isn't that you disagree on the number of kids. The real problem are 1. That you don't communicate. 2. That she doesn't respect your needs. 3. That you say she "will make (you) do what she wants, by force if she has to." That's an extremely unhealthy dynamic. A good relationship means that you talk things out and come to agreement, not that one person forces another.

Please respect yourself and your wish to have a limited number of children. Don't marry her until you resolve this.

If she won't go for counseling with you, go alone.

First of all, congratulations on your engagement! :) It's really good that you're pro-active about the whole family size concern you're facing. And I agree with some of the others that see a red flag in what you said about being made to "do what she wants, by force if she has to." Neither husband or wife should ever take that position. If you truly love one another, you work it out, you compromise. If you don't have the communication skills yet to do that, then get them by pre-marital counselors through your church or elsewhere. But I would never just accept that there are times that she'll force you to do anything. She may have grown up with a dominant mother who did this to resolve disagreements, and she thinks that's just the way it's done. You really need to find that out. It's not normal or even okay to function that way. So, although agreement on family size is a major issue couples need to consider, maybe this is a favor to you in that you're seeing something that's an even bigger issue - does she insist on getting her way, and how does she accomplish it?

If you're not inclined to get counseling, there are still some really good books out there for couples preparing for marriage. My daughter's getting married next month, so, believe me, in addition to counseling by their pastor, we've given them a LOT of books to work through. One of my favorites is "Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before and After You Marry" by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. I think there's even a DVD curriculum, and if you don't go the counseling route, this may be the next best thing. BEST OF LUCK to you both!!

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Do not get married before clearing up the amount of kids

because if she wants 5/ 7 kids and you refuse to give her this amount

she will divorce you and get a new man who will [ make her ] that amount of kids

That's just crazy.I think she'll change her mind about wanting so many kids after she has her first or second child.