I'm 17 and never been in a relationship and just got rejected?

Question

So to clarify, I'm 17 and male. I've liked a number of girls in my time but I've never been in any kind of relationship at all beyond friendship, by which I mean I've never had a girlfriend of any sort, serious or middle school walk around the school yard holding hands type girlfriend, quite simply nothing. So that's just to clarify. The trouble is I have an issue with moving things on any further than being friends with girls, I think out of fear of rejection and fear of ruining the friendship. So, recently I came to really like this girl who's a lead singer in my band. I'm a singer songwriter and I wrote a song about her, with no particular wish to share it specifically with her, though I did post a recording of it on Facebook to share it generally. I found out one of my friends also liked her and I kinda felt pressured to do something before he did, but trying not to do anything too quick. I got added her on Facebook and got her phone number to try to get to know her better. In the end, after about a month of fairly regular conversations, as well as seeing her at band practice, I panicked and I sent her the song with a message explaining I wrote it for her and I had meant to talk to her in person, which I had meant to. (It was the first time I'd ever really told a girl how I felt about her). When she received it, she was shocked and I knew I'd made a big leap far too soon and we talked about it over a couple of days, during which she asked why I liked her, so I gave a fairly emotional list of why I liked her. She said she wanted time to think about it and I thought she might have been interested but last night, she told me she wasn't and said she didn't know if we could even go back to being friends. I feel heartbroken and sick of living a lousy life where I can't appeal to girls I like at all. I just don't know what to do, to the extent I've turned to yahoo answers because somehow I feel my friends can't help me. I can't go on like this and I want at least to try to be friends with her again. Please help.

Will · Answer

Despite a lacking in paragraphs in your question details, I've taken my time to try and read your question in order to help you (I know there's a load of douchebags on Yahoo Answers nowadays that don't give a real answer).

First of all, I'm no relationship guru (hell, I've been on the same boat as you your age but hardly had any friends at all), but what I can tell you is don't worry too much about moving forward. Let it happen genuinely.

I've noticed you've chatted to her for a month, which is not bad. I think what went wrong was the fact that you worry too much about who else likes her and that you shared that song to her without having gone on a couple of dates prior. I believe it came across to her as creepy (even though it wasn't intended to on your part), but don't assume all girls are like her; they can be different.

All I can say is, if you like someone you've gotten on well with for a while, don't tell your true feelings too soon. Ask her if she'd like to hang out with you sometime, be it shopping, bowling, walking, eating out, anything (as long as it's appropriately civilized). 

Treat her well, get to know her better, and most importantly, have fun. When you're about to leave, ask if she'd like to hang out again sometime. If she says yes, great. Don't make any moves on her too soon like confessing your love or going for the kiss before leaving. If you repeat this step several times, you might get somewhere.

If she says she doesn't love you, move on and don't let it get to you. There's plenty of girls in the world.

In short, don't worry about whether she's taken, go with your gut instinct. But most importantly, don't make your life's main priority is to find a girlfriend; it'll make you feel worse, and besides, once you put all your energy into getting a girlfriend instead of other things like your own career, what's she going to think about that? It took me a while to realize that for myself.

I hope I've done my best to help you.

Anonymous · Answer

Dude, there is nothing wrong with this! It's normal and frankly freaking adorable... There are plenty of fish in the sea! Keep writing songs and when you're like a super song writer I'm sure she'll be like "why the hell did I say no?" Anyway, coming from a girl, I'm pretty sure there is someone far better for you out there xxx

Monsieur Rick · Answer

Choosing the lead singer in your band as the one who warms your heart is a credit it to your   appreciating her ta&#92;lent, but not a good choice when it comes to pursuing her in a romantic relationship.  I do not know what you told her and in as much you told her the truth, she knew there was no way she could share your feelings~~ergo requited love,  Being around her or visa versa could be torture

Ondra · Answer

I was rejected when I was 17 too, and i got into my first relationship when I was 18... Keep looking for other girls, and sooner or later, you will find someone.

Travis · Answer

No big deal. This happens to thousands of people daily.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds to me like you're human.

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I'm 17 and never been in a relationship and just got rejected?

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