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Are most gay guys looked at as feminine?

Update:

I'm gay and have been out since I was 13. I'm just asking.

7 Answers

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Not that I've noticed. When an ex and I went out to eat dinner, people simply assumed we were two college buddies taking a break from studying to eat something other than campus food. He hiked, worked on his Expedition, flew planes, restored his rental properties, and was a regular guy except for his sexual orientation.

    Another friend of mine buys old cars that you'd have expected to long since have been parted out and restores them beautifully. I call him for advice when I have to work on older cars, or need to borrow a tool that isn't made anymore. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a 19/32 socket?

    A regular at a bar I used to frequent was a lineman for the telephone company. I had no idea he was gay until he told me. Another friend I met through a website, upon meeting him in person I thought I was in the wrong place; he works for an agricultural firm with a specialty in cotton and cotton gins.

    I hardly consider any of them feminine. Aside from an ex who described himself as masculine and was only fooling himself and a guy at a Sears where I used to go whenn I had to buy replacement tools or swap out a broken tool, it's rare that I run across really feminine guys, even when I'm in about a ten square block area of town that's known for its lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered population, bars and clubs it's unusual to run into many guys that you would look at as feminine.

    We're who we make of ourselves and perceived by how we present ourselves. Of the friends I'm out to, most of them seem to have completely forgotten that I'm gay until I say something that reminds them. And about any god anyone prays to knows I'm never asked to do anything more feminine than cook a meal. This year alone, I've had to trouble shoot, pardon the pun, a Colt .45 that a friend just got, help a friend move the contents of his mother's household and car from Houston to Durango, replace water damaged ceilings, and assist in the removal of a raccoon from a friend's home office.

    I probably know more straight guys that you would look at as feminine than I do gay guys. A guy I worked with during clean up after Hurricane Katrina wore designer jeans, $200 sneakers, brought a personal two cup espresso percolator and set of demitasse cups with matching saucers, and couldn't, for the life of him figure out how to read a map. On the last issue, I bought him a map and spent several evenings trying to teach him how to use it, it still didn't stop him from calling me for help on where he was and what he needed to do to get to where ever he needed to go.

    You can be looked at however you want to be viewed. The only time I bring up the matter of my orientation is if it's relevant and the person I'm discussing it with has a need to know. I generally prefer them to see me as a person before they see me for my sexuality.

    D

  • 8 years ago

    I'm SHOCKED to hear you of all people ask this question!!! You know the answer is NO!!! IF for any reason anybody has looked at you as being feminine, give me their address & I'll have a LONG talk with them!!! Back in what my Mom called the "good old days" they KNEW who was definitely gay because of their feminine traits. What they did NOT think about was that they did NOT know who their partner was because he was NOT feminine. They just ASSUMED (out of ignorance) that 2 of the feminine guys were hooking up...& that just wasn't so!!! So,the old folk ASSUMED that if you were a male with feminine traits that you were gay. Back then, the gay guys WITHOUT feminine traits just kept their mouth shut because they didn't want to defend themselves!!! People assumed that the non-feminine guys were just friends with the gay guy because he did NOT "look" gay!!! My uncle was a feminine gay guy & he had a LOT of non-feminine guy friends & my family NEVER caught on to the fact that they were his lovers. They were VERY masculine & NOBODY even entertained the idea that they might be gay. A dear friend of mine in high school who is gay used to complain how the "flamers" were ruining his life because they were so flamboyant that he feared coming out & being expected to act like them. He was one of the top football players on the team, also played basketball, & was extremely macho!!!

    You do know that lesbians had much the same problem except it was their manliness that automatically made them gay!!!

    The one lesson I've learned in life is that just because you have your eyes wide open, it does NOT mean that you can actually see what you're looking at...People tend to see what they want to see NO matter what the reality is!!!

    Source(s): Life
  • 8 years ago

    In popular culture and, as a result, real-life, sometimes gay men are seen as being feminine. However you'll find that a large majority of gay men are not particularly feminine; in fact, the only gay male I'm good friends with is actually really masculine, more so than some of my straight guy friends.

    It's just a stereotype. Not every single person pertaining to a certain "group" - whether that group is defined by ethnicity, upbringing, sexual orientation, gender, interests and hobbies, likes and dislikes etc - is exactly the same. Within just one social group of people that have a few things in common, you'll always be able to find at least a few differences. Not all gay men are the same, just like how all straight men aren't the same. :)

  • 8 years ago

    If someone in a red car cuts you off, that doesn't mean that every person driving a red car from then on is going to cut you off as well. The same is true for gay guys. We aren't all flamboyant drag queens; a lot of gay guys are hard to separate from their straight counterparts.

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  • reme_1
    Lv 7
    8 years ago

    Your post doesn't quite make sense.

    Many straight people think all gay men are effeminate.

    That's why it's so great that more and more athletes are coming out.

    The only people you might assume are gay are the ones who are effeminate. How are you going to notice the guys who can fit in?

    Just remember that not all effeminate men are gay.

  • Anonymous
    8 years ago

    it is what the media says

    lesbians all are dykes and have short hair and wear flannel

    gays are all flamboyant and feminine and care nothing abuout anything but sex

    and trans men don't exist only trans womyn and they are nothing but "drag queens" and are actually whores and good for noting but to be used by men on the "down low"

    just look them all up on google and see what pops up

  • 8 years ago

    Go to a Pride event, you'll find most gay guys are rather boringly average and normal!

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