Is my mum in the wrong here?

People demonstrate grief in different ways. Perhaps your Mum feels she has to be strong for you and not display any outward reaction. Don't understand why she has to visit a friend at 3.00 am but, if i were you I'd go to bed. Why not talk to her about grandfather and tell her how you feel. She may release her own thoughts and feelings then. Take time to see grandfather. He will be aware of his limited time and as time is precious make the most of it.

As stunned, hurt, and in pain as YOU are, remember that your mother is, as well. This is HER father that she's known all her life who is dying of a horrid disease with no chance that he will recover. She is devastated, too, and her emotions are as overwrought as yours are. Give her a break.

Perhaps you should offer HER some comfort and then everyone could commiserate together as a family by sharing your sorrow. She may not realize just how much you are grieving, has not thought of how she is hurting you by leaving you alone to suffer this heartache, that you're feeling awful being left with the doors unlocked, etc.

Try to concentrate on sharing the best of yourself with your grandfather while you can: try to smile, joke, and share your feelings; try to cheer him up with your day-to-day life events (he will enjoy the listening as much as what you say); explain how much he has meant to you in your life, that you will always remember him with love and joy; remind him of the times you were able to share yourself and your thoughts with him; tell him you love him, respect him, and will miss him more than you can explain. NOW is the time to share your love, hopes, forgiveness, dreams, plans, accomplishments, etc. Don't waste his time on crying; save your tears for later...you'll have plenty of time for weeping when it won't sadden him to see and hear it.

REMEMBER THIS:

Friendship improves happiness and reduces misery by doubling our joys and dividing our grief. [Joseph Addison (1672-1719)]

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