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I honestly dont know what to do :(?
I am newly married to a wonderful man, we both have children from a previous marriage. I have 3 girls ages 20,16 and 11, and my hubby has 2 but one passed away when he was 7. My son is in his 20's, he is my hubby's biological child. Anyhoo I met him over a year ago when he came to live with us. Things were good at first then he started talking about his prior drug use, he moved out and moved in with friends that were using and we found out after he moved back in again that he is using. He has stolen, gotten very disrespectful, he worked maybe a couple months while he was here. I told my husband that I had enough, I don't want someone that is using drugs and using us in our home and our 2 girls still live at home so I certainly don't want that around them and I don't want to lose them just because he doesn't care. My husband wanted to give him another chance but we have given him chance after chance, so our son moved out, is still using and has no where to go. What do we do???
When he first moved in and started talking about when he used he also said that he went to rehab. He is quite happy using and as far as anyone knows, he has NO intention of quiting. If we thought for a second that he wanted to stop,believe me we would get him the help he needs but unless he really wants it, a million rehabs aren't gonna help him.
I'm sorry this is just hard... I have cried and I have talked to him, his father as well has tried. He went to rehab because it was court ordered, he didn't like the counselor or the program. I feel so freakin lost :(
You all have given good advice... ALL of you. Its as if a monster has a hold on him and we try and try and try. We are so scared that one day we are gonna get the call that he has OD'd. It especially breaks my heart because my husband is a 6'2 Navy Vet, he is such a strong man but lately he has been so broken, you can see it in his eyes. Our son will talk about drugs when he comes to visit, about the taste and smell and he laughs... he doesn't care how much it is hurting his dad because right now everything is a joke, He is 23 and I don't know if he's going to be able to see 24.
4 Answers
- KatyLv 47 years agoFavorite Answer
I think you could advice him to get help. You have given him chances. I wouldent want him in my house with my other children. I am so sorry for you and your husband, but the thing is nobody can help your son, he has to want it himself, you cannot change anybody unless they want to change. Please God things will get better for ye.
- ?Lv 47 years ago
To kick him out seems the correct thing to do however in doing that you are perhaps conveying the wrong message. Overcoming drug use is extremely difficult and cannot be achieved unless the user wants to stop. You cannot keep giving him chances at home as this will only worsen his behavior, his stealing will increase and violence will commence. He needs a detox facility, preferably with his consent and a facility away from where he now is. Sit him down,ask him if he would rather not use drugs but do not offer him any bribes Unless you act on the above he WILL self destruct.
If you succeed it is most important that if/when he returns to you 'clean' he does not have access to any of his present 'friends' because it will all start again if he has.
Source(s): Experience with this topic. - 7 years ago
You have given him many chances by the sound of it and I believe you are right to keep your step-son away from your daughters. To be disrespectful and dishonest (stealing) whilst you and your family are trying to help him is not good.
He is old enough to stand on his own two feet, if he wants to continue the drug use you may have to leave him to his own devises; if he wants to be helped then maybe get in contact with a social worker.
Could he go into rehab? Or maybe meet up with ex drug users, to see what damage he's actually doing to himself
I hope it works out for you
- Anonymous7 years ago
That is so hard! Tuff love is the hardest thing in the world to give to your kids but sometimes it is a nessasary lesson. If it were my son, I would put him in rehab. I recommend seeking wise council from the leaders of your church or from a licensed counselor. Good luck with this!
