How do I tel him I need to take a break?

Question

My husband and I have been married a little over two years and have a fourteen month old son.  Six months ago I caught my husband having an emotional affair with an old friend of his from high school.  Ever since then our marriage has been iffy.  The past week, I've been at the end of my rope. Everything he does gets on my nerves. I can't stand to be near him.  My family always had a huge Christmas and decorated the yard and house.  I have a tree up and that's it. He doesn't want to decorate because of the electric bill.  I dislocated my knee back in September and haven't been able to get around until recently. Now he doesn't help me do anything. He said he got tired of being the only one doing stuff. I didn't injure my knee on purpose. He's been real short with me and our son. He spanks him a lot and doesn't have any patience with him. I've brought up separating before and he refuses to leave. He's said the only way I'll get rid of him is to kill myself. I need a break or divorce.

? · Accepted Answer

Hi Mrs. Lackey,

I'm sorry to hear about the stress your marriage has been facing. It can be so tough when we are having trouble getting on the same page as our spouse, or when it doesn't feel like we are on the same team.

As I was reading your question, two articles came to mind that I believe might be helpful and encouraging as you are figuring this out. I actually happen to work for a marriage and family non-profit group who has some great information on this subject. One article -- which you can find here: http://bit.ly/13hPKmh -- tackles the issue of marital conflict and speaks to the power of healthy conflict. The other piece covers the matter of turning your marriage around when it is facing conflicts such as the ones you've described, and you can find that article here: http://bit.ly/12XUnqH.

I know it's hard when we are faced with conflict in our marriages, especially when we don't feel like there is anyone we can really talk with about it. If you felt like you needed a person to talk to, I know that the same has counselors on staff who would love to talk to you and hear about what is going on. You can reach them through this link: http://bit.ly/14firiA.

I hope some of this helps, and provides some encouragement for you during this time. Best of luck!

jeffrey f · Answer

You both need to see a marriage counselor.  Separation or divorce is a case of the solution being worse than the problem.

In the spirit of Christmas, don't tell him anything until after the season is over.  Breaking up with someone or walking out on a marriage during Christmas is really, really low.

? · Answer

I wouldn&#x27;t allow him to touch my child, spanking is one thing but over spanking is another. I would say its time to file for a separation Nd get the police or a place like safe harbor involved for you and your son. Sounds to me like he&#x27;s not happy either but is punishing you because of what he got caught doing before. Ask him why he wants to stay so badly and suggest therapy for you both. Hope that helps.

Dan · Answer

thats ruff, i would sit down and have a serious talk. or go to your local police department tell them the story and they will direct you to the city courthouse and usually file restraning orders or even help get the divorce filed.

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How do I tel him I need to take a break?

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