If someone cheats and you would know it....?

Question

Someone asked me today what would I do if I would know a wife who is cheating her husband. Would I tell him or would I not about his wife unfaithfulness ? 
I answered that I would probably not involve myself in this situation, because it is not my job to judge the personal life of another person.

However, the question somehow remained open in my mind. 
Many persons would say " Poor guy, you can't be so cruel to let him suffer " , but let's be serious :
1.In many cases, we don't even know the background of the story. Maybe the " poor guy " is a rude and agressive dude who beats his wife and this is why she seeks happiness somewhere else. There are many possibilities. 
2. Assuming that in this case we are responsible to do something about the situation, seems a quite excessive approach. Morally, we would like to live in a perfect world, where no one cheats no one, but this is not that world. Logically however, the fact that we find out somehow that a  woman is cheating his man is just one thing and running to the man to tell him that his wife is cheating on him is another thing. The first one is an unplanned incident, the second one is a voluntary, but not certainly required action.

What are your thoughts ?

? · Accepted Answer

Chances are, I would never know of such a thing. I don't want to know personal things about people. If I were working on something interesting with somebody, and things were clicking and getting fantastic results, they could be a serial killer for all I care.

I don't understand this society's fascination with the personal business of others. It's as if I'm surrounded by sneaky, little spy-snitches, watching everybody all the time, taking note of what they say and do and spreading the "news" of it, from one end of the planet to the other. It actually, sort of, turns my stomach. I hate to say it and it's just my perspective but - I literally find it disgusting. WAY more disgusting than some guy cheating on his wife - or even a serial killer.

I just don't want to know things like that, about others. And not just about the "cheating", I'm talking about the spy-snitch-gossip crap. It's none of my business and WHY, in God's name, ANYone would want ANYone to know that they're like that, is just beyond my comprehension. But people just sort of lay it all out in the open and gladly show anyone who will listen to them, how disgusting they are - some wear it like a badge of honor, ROFL! Consequently, I have no social skills, to speak of...lol

? · Answer

Hi Holden,

Be careful here. Lots of pitfalls. If your friend suspects that his wife is cheating on him, and you that you know about, and he asks you that question, be very careful. He may trip any moment and pop some caps in some people. You may be one of them.

If I had a friend and I suspected that his wife was "steppin' out" on him, I think I would find a way to let him know. If the shoe were on the other foot, I would want to be told. I would expect a loyal friend to warn me.

If the couple were both good friends of mine, I would approach the cheater and tell them what I knew. I would explain that they must confess to the other if they want us all to remain friends.

Anonymous · Answer

I think a relationship is between 2 people. I wouldn't involve myself in their situation.

I'd only come in between of someone mistreated the other : physically or mentally, then I'd step up. But cheating.. it's something delicate. If someone gets mistreated, you witness it or one of the two tells you it, so you can step up. But if someone cheats on the other, I don't feel like you can be 100% sure, unless that person is cheating on their wife/husband with you, then you know for sure.

? · Answer

I know of a lot people who are cheating on others. How about the Scorpio woman in my town who was sleeping with her lover hours before she went to the airport to pick up her Pisces boyfriend? Hmmm...Or how about the woman that has been sleeping with the married man for years, sometimes even in the wife's bed? OR how about the guy who is sleeping with two girlfriends behind his wife's back? That's right, I could pop a lot of bubbles. But do I even care? No because if someone is sick enough to cheat one their partner its their own problem not mine.

? · Answer

I agree, usually when you reveal such things, the woman gets mad at YOU, blames you, and then calls you a liar.  The man then denies it and you look like some jerk trying to steal is girl using lies.  If you don't have any evidence it's a terrible idea; if you have evidence it's still a terrible idea.  It would be good to tell on felonious, violent activities, but aside from abuse, I agree that meddling in other people's marriages and relationships always backfires or makes things worse.

? · Answer

I would certainly know if my husband was cheating. For one to ask that question, he already knows the answer.
Do not involve yourself as you will lose a friend either way if you are correct or wrong.

? · Answer

I think it's best to mind your own business.  I would not want to be responsible for all the ramifications.

Anonymous · Answer

I think your initial reaction is correct. You might interfere and then find you were wrong!

? · Answer

Might, might not.Best for no interactions what so ever

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If someone cheats and you would know it....?

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