Can you check my errors on this letter please?

Question

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to appeal my insurance that's going to be cut off next year. I am worried of my insurance being dropped, as I mistakenly discontinued it. I am still hoping that you can reinstate my insurance for next year.

I decided to cut it, because I thought Medicare was really intended for elderlies like me, but having no prior knowledge about the program, I still decided to cut Health net just to be on Medicare. After a month, I went to my doctor and she explained about Medicare. I felt surprised and upset, as I just removed my insurance, moreover missed the deadline to renew my insurance. I admit my mistake of not taking necessary precautions of my actions. I have been on Health net for years and I am very much satisfied with the plans and services that I have. I am asking this because I can’t afford losing my insurance at his age.
Please understand that I thought Medicare would be beneficial for me, but I realized that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. I hope you can give me a second chance, and thank you for considering this appeal.

Sincerely,

I am weak at writing, anyways I feel like I made lots of errors. Pease feel free to check, and if you want to rewrite it, that'd be awesome. its for my mom. thanks :)

Juan · Accepted Answer

The i's aren't suppose to be capitalized, but looks better and also, try to explain how much you love their service and they probably don't want you to lose you as a customer.

Sam · Answer

Rhonda & Jackson Hagan Grieser
8549 SW 77th Ave
Gainesville, FL  32608

Dearest Rhonda & Jackson Hagan, 
   The enclosed picture of my father is one of only a few existing pictures of him in my possession. I send this to you to display and always remember your grandfather and Jackson’s great-grandfather for whom he was named. During my childhood, my grandparents told me repeatedly that his love for me, his son, was enormous and he had a great big heart for other people, he would have loved you both very much and enjoyed seeing you grow-up and would have been excited to see Jackson swim and play sports. He was born on May 29, 1919 and died on August 21, 1941. His full name was Hagan Lawson. He fathered two children: Bobby Allen Lawson and Jerry Hagan Lawson.

Lots of Love,

Dad, a.k.a. Pop Pop

obeze · Answer

Dear Mrs Nwafor,

Greetings to you! I wrote to request from your branch to fix deposit 
 ten million naira (10,000,000) from my current account,thank you.

Yours sincerely,

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Can you check my errors on this letter please?

3 Answers