How do I help people understand that I don't want to babysit?

Obviously, the persistent requests of your "family and friends" is bothering you. they aren't being considerate of your feelings; or have no idea that this bothers you.

A long time ago, I was a childless adult in a big family; and I enjoyed occasional visits with my nieces nephews, and such. After a while, family and friends started to expect me ( and wife) to babysit, because we didn't have kids of our own. ( like you .. we must have lots of free time!)

At first, I tried to be nice, and had a hard time saying no. but as I got resentful.. it got a lot easier for me.

for some folks, it seems harder to just come out with no.. I heard ( I think Dr. Oz) suggest that when people are imposing on you, and you can't bring yourself to just say no.. to put the question off;

that is.. if they ask " Can you babysit on saturday?" You should have a ready response of " I don't know. Let me see what our plans are, and I'll get back to you."

.. and then you can (a) wait a day or so then call them and say no.. or (b) just let them figure out that you didn't call back because you aren't interested in babysitting.

Other suggestions might be to refer them to a qualified teen who wants the work,

.. offer, " well, I had plans with my husband that night.. but if you will babysit my son next week, maybe we can work something out" ( it isn't free and easy for them anymore)

.. or start to ask for money; if you aren't already.

Tell them that " you know, since we're so close I'll ask you first. Since so many people ask me to babysit for them, I was going to make it a regular job. Do you think $25 per hour is a fair price? I spoke to an accountant - and he told me I'd have to report all the money I make, and I should probably get my own insurance. "

Don't give them an opportunity to guilt you.

If you say " No, I have something that night"

you stop there. PERIOD.

If you speak first, you lose the "negotiation". If they ask what you are doing..

-- that has nothing to do with whether or not you are babysitting

-- that question is a little too personal .. maybe my husband will tell you afterwards.

-- Is this high-school? do you really want to know? I just can't do it that time.

Say, "I am so busy now that I have had to raise my rates to $22.50 an hour."

Actually, you have to come up with your own "happy" price. That is the price at which you would be happy to work or not work.

You have to just forget them. Be firm and be not afraid, don't dance around it by being unavailable or allowing yourself to be guilt tripped!

You just need to KEEP REPEATING THIS MANTRA to these people!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you give in, then you are stuck!!!!!