Is it a bad idea to show compassion to an old friend who lost a loved one?

Question

I heard through the grapevine today that an old friend of mine lost his father to cancer which went undiagnosed. My old friend is a year older than I. I am 22 and we used to be neighbors and best friends from ages four to nine, we also did a lot of things with his dad, he would take us places, we have a lot of memories. My friend has lived out of the area since then, but I still have him as a friend on facebook (I hardly ever used facebook) I was thinking of at least sending him a facebook message, but I'm not sure if that might do more harm than good. after all, I have not been in his life for over 13 years now. I'm also not too sure what to say.

dd k · Accepted Answer

It's actually very appropriate.
Just say the same things that you said just now, like how his dad used to take you to a lot of places, etc.

However, since your friend may be in mourning.  It may take a long time for him to get back to you or even respond to you at all.  Nevertheless, letting your friend know that you're thinking of him probably means a lot more to him than you think.

ihaveasexyhusband · Answer

Not it's not a bad idea to show compassion.  It doesn't matter that you two haven't been in each others lives for the past 13 - well you have as you're both friends on Facebook.

Get a card and write about how sad you are to hear about his dad and then write some fond memories of the three of you.

He will appreciate it believe me.

KD

Sue B · Answer

Facebook was meant to be in the beginning, a place where you can connect with old friends.  Hell, I haven't seen any of my friends in over 35 years!!    It's the place I also hear who passed.  OF course it's OKay  to send him a message  and express your sympathies.  Maybe even add a fun memory you hold in your heart of time with him and his dad.   Go For it.  It's cool!!

? · Answer

It's completely appropriate to express your condolences.  However, I wouldn't do it on FB; that just seems tacky to me (I'm almost 70).  If you have an address, a card with a hand-written note is the best way to go.

? · Answer

Yes. It is the right thing to do. Just say how you feel. I&#x27;m sorry for your loss. He will be missed. I keep the memories of the fun times we had in my mind. 
Just be honest.

? · Answer

Maybe you should try to rekindle your friendship. I dont think it would hurt if you shared your condolences for his father.

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Is it a bad idea to show compassion to an old friend who lost a loved one?

6 Answers