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Parents won't let me express myself (reasonable question)?
I'm 14.
I live in a rural southern area, most people around here wear boots and jeans. Except my parents, since they are from the city. Nothing wrong with that, I don't have a problem with it, that's just what they choose to wear. But all my friends are country/western type people I guess you could say. Boots, jeans, etc. to everything. Church boots and nice jeans to church. I try to wear my church boots and nice jeans to church, and wear a ponytail, and my parents always criticize me about it. They said I look stupid, like a boy, like a pinhead (whatever the heck that is), and other things like that. They're always trying to get me to wear weird stuff, like dress pants and "ballet flats" to church when every other person there is wearing boots and jeans. When they force me to wear the things I don't want to wear (since I can't go anywhere without their specific approval of everything), I always get weird looks and I'm so uncomfortable. I'm a confident person, but the weird things they make me wear make me feel embarrassed and my friends think I look strange. I have to explain it to them all the time because I want them to understand it is not my choice. I feel that I dress respectfully for church, I would never wear something inappropriate. I think it's the heart and attitude that's important, not what you're wearing.
Am I being unreasonable in how I feel? Any tips on working with them, or thoughts on the matter?
Thanks!!
Dylan - It doesn't quite work like that. They won't let me go anywhere unless I'm wearing what they want.
Retired RN - I'm not asking to wear a garbage bag, I'm trying to dress appropriately for the situation. I do dress up or church, like I said in the question. Church boots, nice jeans, etc.
Olivia - Thanks for understanding, I wear what I wear because I'm comfortable and confident wearing it, and my parents making me wear weird stuff is hurting my self esteem (and not much can do that). I know they pretty much want the best for me, but they don't see that this is the absolute wrong way to "help" me.
Flameclaw - I have done that many times! They seem to think that no matter what I wear, it's not "presentable" unless it's like a dress and heels, or dress pants or something, worn to a casual church.
4 Answers
- ?Lv 77 years agoFavorite Answer
I'm afraid that for now, you're only 14 and your parents are in charge. You shouldn't have to apologize or explain to your friends why you dress the way you do as they should accept you just for you. Dressing a little nicer for church once a week isn't going to kill you.
When you're grown, you can wear a garbage bag if you want. For now, show your parents some respect. They really aren't asking for too much and its not forever.
- Anonymous7 years ago
The problem is here is that your parents are used to how things are and how people dress in the city whereas I'm guessing you've lived in the rural area for all your life or all of your life which you've been able to know what you want. You seem to only be dressing the way you wish to because everyone else dresses like that around except your parents, don't dress for anyone but yourself. It's all to do with different surroudings, you're used to the surroundings you are in and your parents aren't. You are your parents best interest so they won't be doing this to harm you or suffocate you. They just aren't like your friends.
- ?Lv 57 years ago
I'd criticize you for going to church period. But anyways, your 14. Your parents shouldn't be forcing you to wear what they want. Your old enough to choose what you want to wear. Have you told them how you feel? That might help. Also, you could refuse to wear what they try to make you wear. Put on what you want to wear and if they don't like it too bad. That's what I'd do.