What the *CENSORED :)* am I supposed to do?

I have Tourette's Syndrome, which has so far kept me out of the US Military, multiple jobs, several colleges, and innumerable jobs. And it seems that despite all that I have accomplished, and all the talents I have, I still end up struggling. I still end up unfulfilled. Feeling like I'll never be good enough for anything.

My question is this: What am I supposed to do? I can't get into the military, as they won't accept anyone with a psychiatric disorder (like my Tourette's), I don't have the money to go to college, and my student loans are in default. I've pretty much been crash-landed into the retail and food service ditch, with little to no hope of escape. Literally, the only relief I feel is when I drink myself into Oblivion.

All I have is an ability to do celebrity impressions... yipee...

What is a person with a disability and no money supposed to do??

I don't want to accept that retail and fast food is all I have to look forward to in my future... If that's the case, I'd rather take a bullet to the brain... And I am still debating that option.

Look, I don't want to sound like a drama queen, but I have exhausted almost every option.

I appreciate your time.

Merry Christmas!