LOVE ADVICE FEMALE PERSPECTIVE NEEDED?

This may be a long explanation.... SO, me and this girl became friends my senior year of high school, and at the time she was in a relationship with this guy for about 10 months, and during our friendship I would constantly have to suppress my feelings and I was persistent on just being friends, however, as we all know that never works out well.

I took her to my HC that year, (she was still dating that guy) and she flirted with me the ENTIRE night, and I was too shy to react. anyways, She had broken up with her bf about a month later and she called me that night saying she wanted to hangout, and i obviously agreed. We were watching the movie and before i knew it, she started making moves on me, and we eventually started kissing, however, she told me the next day that she still had feelings for her ex bf... The next 3 months/ the rest of my senior year, I told her how i felt yet she would tell me that she didn't have feelings for me, and that she loved having me as a best friend (hahah IK the friend zone)

Things led to another, and I just stopped talking to her a long period of time (about 4 months) I don't know why i ever bothered to contact her, but right before i left for college (about 2 weeks) I decided to hangout with her. We somehow agreed to keep things along the lines of friends with benefits. Things picked up a little better than i would have anticipated and she began flirting with me continuously. We hungout for a bit and then we began kissing, and the night soon ended after. I told her I was falling for her, and she told me she did not want a relationship across the country and that she didn't want to be in a relationship with me. I was really frustrated with myself for how things ended because i truly love this girl. She's meant so much to me and it seemed as if I had failed. The next night me and her as well as her twin sister hungout for the night. When i tried flirting with her she would mention things like "not in front of my sister" or other nonsense as such, and I only kissed her one time when we were both leaving, but I had tried to kiss her several times that failed. I assumed that we were never going to be together and that it really was friends with benefits, so i decided to do something (although dumb AF), risky... The next day I was hanging out with just her sister, and we kissed for about 2 minutes, and about 2 hours after this happened the girl tweeted something about how ****** up that was. I can't say i blame her, but she got very pissed. I tried explaining to her the innocence of it, and how her indecisiveness has led me to do this, but it really never worked. She ignored me for about a month, i would send texts roughly once a week trying to get an answer, but nothing came to fruition. However, One night she started responding and she admitted that she did have feelings for me, but what i did really hurt her. This was in september, and I tried seeing her over thanksgiving, but she kept coming up with bullshit excuses for why we can't hangout. I never saw her, but now I've tried to talk to her about what occurred. I asked her in a text

"So you're saying that you had absolutely no feelings towards me at the end of the summer? And ur also denying that you had told me you had feelings towards me prior to when I ****** up?"

Her response was:" I'm saying I don't love you

Love is a very strong word Charlie (my name) I don't mess around with that"

I would text her after this message about twice a day for 4 days and i never got a response. she's said things like "Hi chuck. I don't hate you, I just am very stubborn about all of this simply because of the fact that we became so close so fast and yet you still did that

But merry Christmas hope you're having a great day"

My main intention was to receive help, preferably from female users, who are willing to help give me advice. IVE ****** UP in this relationship with her, and it may seem like i should give up on her cause she's not worth it, but I truly care about her and i want her in my life, and I want the opportunity to love her more than a friend... id really appreciate advice on what to say or do in order to get her back.