How to deal with sexual abuse?

Question

I'm 16 now but from the ages of 3-8 i was sexually abused by my first cousin. I know its not my fault because i had no idea what he was doing and i couldn't stop him, but i can't help but blame myself for letting it go on as long as it did. He stopped touching me and making me touch him at around 5 or 6 and just always looked at me and purposely walked close behind me. Because of this I cant trust anyone, not even my mother or anyone i'm in a relationship with. I haven;t told my mother because I feel like if i told her, she wouldn't believe me and tell me to shut up, because that's just the type of mother she is.. But if she did believe me, she would confront him and it would ruin the whole family because everyone loves him. So i just want to forget it., but every time i try it get worse and messes with my life, I'm always failing in school, i have way to much stress for a teenager, i began cutting myself 2 years ago and thinking of suicide. Everyone keeps wondering why i talk to every other cousin but him and in my head i keep saying "isn't it obvious that something wrong?" I just want to forget before i do something I'll probably regret...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Firstly, you cannot blame yourself for what happened since at the time you were extremely inncent.    Proving what happened after 8 years would be somewhat difficult, and like you say, sharing it with the family may cause more problems than it will solve.

Consider some form of counselling, or talk it all through with a trusted friend.   Doing so may relief the stress and anxiety you are experiencing right now.

As for your cousin..... Treat him with contempt.

? · Answer

I know how hard this is for you. Even just telling someone. You are being very brave right now. As for the abuse, you have already told us. You can tell your family. Even if they love him, they will stand by you. You can do this. It may seem like suicide is the only answer. Like it will be peaceful. But it can't get better with death. The only way to get better is to get counseling. Possibly medication. You have been through so much, and I admire your courage to keep going. I hope you realize you are worth so much. And that asking for help is the best thing for you. I run a page on facebook called Let's Talk. The profile picture is black and white. I would love for you to go like it and talk to me. I'm admin BCD. Please be strong. So many people love you.

Watershed Chelsea · Answer

https://www.thewatershed.com/resource/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/

This kind of abuse can cause PTSD, read this article to learn more on what you can do for yourself

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How to deal with sexual abuse?

3 Answers