Need female advice badly?

Question

So there's this girl I've known for years who's sending me a LOT of mixed signals. I've know her since I was 8 (I"m 22 now, she just turned 21), and we've always been close. Also, I've kind of been in love with her since, well, meeting her. Kinda ****** it up a few years back. Told her how I felt in a very awkward manner, of course she shot me down. Things are different now for both of us.

With all due modesty, I've got a lot going for me. I'm smart as hell,  pretty good looking, VERY fit, I'm serving in the US Army (I'm actually overseas right now), doing something with my life. Not the stereotypical friendzoned guy. She's going to school in Georgia, dating a loser druggie with a psycho family who she constantly complains about, and although she's still with him, just moved out of their shared apartment because he was such a pain to deal with.

She likes me, I'm one of the only people she talks to, she even told me "I love you" before we hung up on the last phone call we shared before I left and said we'll have to make up for missing her 21st birthday and Christmas celebration when I get back .

On the other hand, I've facebooked her a few times since we got here (internet's kinda spotty) and she always takes an eternity to answer back. I know she's not too busy to talk because she's always posting **** in my newsfeed. If she cared about me, she would actually write back, right?

Anyway. I'm sick of mixed signals and sick of playing mind games, and sick of being head over heels for someone who I can't tell if they care about me or not. I'm trying to decide whether or not I should take her out and try one last time to win her over, or just say hell with it, burn bridges to an irreparable extent, and cut her out of my life.

Help?

VanessaG · Accepted Answer

It sounds like she likes you and respects you but sees you as unattainable, either because you are out of the country or she believes you have friend zoned her.  Her slow FB response is a red flag, but it is impossible to tell for sure until you return and can explore a relationship one to one. You might be able to win her over, but she is going to need direct expressions from you of your interest in her.

? · Answer

Honestly, tell her. You can either do it over the phone or when you get home and go to celebrate (definitely the better option) just prepare something to say. Then when you get there, tell her. Make sure that what you say is from the heart. You sound like a great guy, but you need to let her know that you aren't going to stick around and be toyed with forever because some women get comfortable with men who really care about them being there for them to flirt with when they want to. Trust me...I had this guy who I would flirt with all the time, but I thought he didn't really like me back, so I never did anything about it. I turned him down a lot. Then he came back after I hadn't seen him in a year and he told me that he was going to be leaving state and I'd never see or hear from him again and I have been engaged to him for three years now :)

Renee · Answer

I'd say take the chance and just tell her how you feel. Maybe wait until you're back and plan something special for the two of you. Confess your long awaited attraction and if things go sour like last time, then try to get over her and don't bother with her anymore. But when/if you confess to her, be confident. Show her that you're serious about her and willing. And if it doesn't work out, decide if you want to completely cut cords or still stay in contact as friends. It's hard dealing with this kind of stuff, but try to stay positive no matter what happens.

Anonymous · Answer

People have different journeys, the least you can do is continue to be her friend and who knows, maybe someday you'll get married.

hhhh · Answer

if she know you like you she's prob just want attention. pay attention to her body language if she overly confidently flirting etc she prob not interested but if she may subtlety give cues if she is. get her drunk

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Need female advice badly?

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