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How do you deal with racism? And people talking trash behind your back?
Here is the situation:
I am 23 yo African American individual dating a 23yo Latina women from Ecuador and we've been dating for 3 years now, and we discuss the possibility of having a marriage.
Her so called friend "Bruno" has harassed her with several messages about our relationship and more specifically here is an exact quote "You are white and beautiful and he is a *****, and he treats you bad because he is black."
He also went into more comments saying that "black people are traumatized because of their skin color." Then he went into saying he "doesn't like me because of my comments on Facebook" and he thinks I can't handle racism. For the most part, I have no problem with anyone and I EMBRACE all cultures and I love everyone no matter what your background is.
Lastly, he then goes on to say that she "deserves better," and his last message is "I'm not racist, because I once loved a black girl and I have friends of multiple races." He also brought her to tears because she's never been exposed to any type of ridicule towards our relationship (nail in the coffin)
How should I handle this? I personally have a fire burning inside of me because I feel there are a few things I need to say to him... I sent a message on FB but he ignored it and I am considering writing on his wall... I don't know though, I need opinions ASAP. What would you do?
3 Answers
- Pink_DiamondLv 57 years ago
Don't post to his wall. Avoid creating any chances of fight.
Esp. public fights.
What Bruno says or thinks isn't important. But what your gf thinks and feels about this IS important.
Talk to your girlfriend about this personally and ask her what he meant by you treating her bad. I mean, like where did Bruno got this idea from? Did your gf said something that made him think you are treating her wrongly? Or was it something else?
Anyway, don't sound angry, otherwise your gf will become defensive and that may cause a bit of confusion.
Be calm and cool. Just ask if she is unhappy with you.
If she's happy, no need to worry. Just tell her that you really do love her and if there is any problem, she should be open about it to you and you'll try to sort things out.
If she does says she is unhappy, then talk about it and try to sort it out.
Also, maybe the reason why Bruno is unhappy with your relationship with her is because he is jealous.
Maybe he likes your gf? So he doesn't wants her to be with you.
That's all I can pretty much think of why he doesn't wants her to be with you IF HE IS NOT A RACIST.
Just talk about it with your gf and see how things goes.
Take care.
- ?Lv 77 years ago
"Bruno" is no friend. But it is your girlfriend's place to handle this one, rather than you. In her shoes, I'd advise Bruno to stay out of this and keep his negative opinions to himself. Further, I'd probably dump him as a no longer wanted friend. ~ Dr. S.
