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My brother is suicidal, what do I do?
I'm 20 and live in Newcastle, where I go to university. My brother 25 and lives in London and was doing a phd there. We lost our Dad 2 years ago, his mother has effectively disowned him, and mine died when I was young (he's my half brother), so there's just me and my 17 year old sister for him to turn to.
He recently split up with his long term girlfriend, who he was living with, and ended up on the streets of London. I don't know all the details, but I know he slept rough a bit. He is bipolar and takes a huge amount of cannabis, which makes him worse, and has been going in and out of depression since Dad died. Loosing his girlfriend and being on the streets has caused him to hit an all time low.
He has become severely paranoid, saying absurd things about people trying to control him, and he keeps saying how much he just wants to die. He will only communicate though facebook, and is very arrogant which, combined with his paranoia, makes him very hard to reason with. He is mistrustful of medicinal drugs, doctors and any authorities.
I've been trying to talk to him though facebook, but he twists everything I say into an attack and makes me out to be against him. For example, I invited him to come and stay with me in the North but he accused me of making outrageous selfish demands of him, when all I want is to help. He's started just insulting me and saying horrible things to me when ever I try and facebook him, and doesn't respond though any other communication method. He still talks to my sister, but she is only 17 and suffers with some depression of her own, and his constantly saying how much he wants to die is really upsetting her. I don't know what to do or how to talk to him, any help would be really appreciated.
2 Answers
- 7 years agoFavorite Answer
This is a very difficult battle, but from what it seems you are not taking his outbursts personally which is very important. D. J. Jaffe of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill offers this sound advice: “Don’t confuse the illness with the individual; instead, hate the disease but love the person.” There is hope, but it will require a lot of effort and determination, and of course he would have to also want to be helped. But before getting to that point he has to feel that he trusts you and believes that you have his best interests at heart. That would require cultivating a friendship with him once again. Is it possible that you can go to visit him? If you feel that you would be putting yourself in danger by doing so, then I wouldn't advise it. Since he is using a drug that is known to cause paranoia, you would need to take appropriate safety measures and be cautious if you did that, or even if he came to your house. But by somehow befriending him first, you can get to understand his level of paranoia and some of the issues he's facing. This can help you to make a better decision as to how you will proceed in helping him.
I personally have a friend that has bipolar and it was very hard for me to deal with him at times, but after reading this article and following the suggestions it did help:
Source(s): JW.org - 7 years ago
It must be really hard to get through to him... And it must be really hard for you too. I think he's just defensive. Being the older brother, maybe he doesn't want help from his younger brother. Do you think he resents you? Maybe you did better than him academically and he's been rusted own from that. He could even feel like he isn't good enough as an older brother. The pressure must be immense for both of you. He may feel guilty hes not there to support the family which is why you have to. Did he support it when he was younger? Maybe he couldn't take it then. I've personally suffered from depression, and during those times you close yourself off from other people. My family would ask me why, but I would't tell them and just cried. I just think he needs time. Tell him he's your family. And he deserves help, whether he asks for it or not. You should also get your sister to tell him to he's scaring her. Make her tell him he needs to come home. She needs to see him.
Source(s): It's really easy to get stuck in a hole like that. The only way he's going to get out if he digs his way out himself. First he needs to stop taking drugs. They're messing with his mind. Tell him that if he can't get clean for himself, do it for his sister. He needs her. Tell him youd do too. Only if he doesn't talk to you though after you say he's family. Use this as a last resort. Maybe in a few years, he'll be clean. I really hope everything will be okay in the future.
