I am sexually attracted to older men and am constantly labeled as a whore. Am I doing wrong?

Ever since I was 10 years old, I've been attracted to older men, MUCH older men, starting from late 20s to 50s. I'm not desperate, dont get me wrong! It's not like i only want the men for sex, i want them for everything im ATTRACTED to them. I've been labeled as a whore, slutty worthless nothing since I was 10, and it's only because of this. I've always crushed on the taller, deeper voiced, bigger burly guys in school because they give me more of a sense of a man. idk maybe this is all because i've had issues with my father since my childhood, im currently 14. my mom has been more of a man than my father has. idk if that's why or not. but anyways currently i love a 50 year old man, my math teacher and i'm HEAVILY attracted to him, and i've never had a crush/loved or whatever a teacher s this is new to me. idek ive considered getting help but its something i dont like to talk about a lot. im always scared of being made fun of and idk i feel like sometimes the older men give me such a good sense, i feel like they protect me and i can hide under their protection. idek im so messed up in so many different ways i just need help so bad goddamn