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I was inspired wrote a short poem; will you look and comment further?

AS a lineament to,

stars never leave the consolation

Evermore visible in the lineament,

All clear skies seen as solstice’s summer and winter

The four corners to the north and south

A sphere of earth by heavens fullness

What would make this poem into a better Poem?

1 Answer

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  • ?
    Lv 7
    7 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    As liniment for my eyes, stars are dim consolation

    evermore fitted to the firmament gulfed by separation

    All clear skies see solstice: summer or winter

    Four cornered heaven, comes thus never quite hither.

    Now add three more stanzas and a couplet and you will almost have a poem.

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