Best joke you've ever heard ever?

"knock knock"

"who's there?"

"interrupting doctor"

"interrupting doctor w"

" you have cancer "

it's **** i know sorry

A man goes on vacation for a few weeks, and has his brother look after his cat. After a few days, he calls his brother and asks him how the cat is doing.

The brother says, "I'm sorry, but the cat's died."

The man gets angry and yells at him, "How could you just break it to me like that?! You know I'm not going to be home for another week; when I called you should have said, 'The cat's on the roof and we can't get it down.' Then I'd call the next day and you'd say, 'The cat fell off the roof, but the vet's doing all he can.' Then the third day, I'd call and you'd say, 'I'm sorry, the vet did all he could but the cat died.' That way I would have been able to build myself up for it and brace myself! It wouldn't have come as such a shock and would have been easier to handle!"

The brother apologizes.

The man calms down; "Alright. So, how's Mom?"

And the brother says, "Well... she's up on the roof, and we can't get her down."

If Obama had a mustache he wouldn't be a bare faced liar.

Edit: @ Carol, If you are the one who is intelligent then why are you the one who lives week to week hoping that Obama allows your pension checks to keep coming to you, and I'm the one who owns my own business (built from the ground up) and is not dependent on the Government?.......You know it's true.

BTW, why would I go to the Democratic convention just to hear a bunch of lies when I can hear plenty of those by listening to the mainstream media?

Third went to the Democratic convention. He looked around at all the super intelligent people, listened to all the super thoughtful speeches, then said, "What am I doing here!" The end.

What do you call a motorcyclist without a helmet?

A woman.

osama spin laden, dropping beats like the twin towers