Fighting self esteem... leaded me to being lonely?

Question

I've been a shy kid (im 16 now, i dont consider myself man nor child), with a very low self esteem and i dont honestly believe in myself at all... Lately ive been working on getting rid of all this self doubt and try to grow some guts lol, heres the problem, its working and now i know talk to people and my friends with "the real me", but some of my friends now call me "arrogant" and a "douchebag", ive been always with them and i didnt talk when I was, now I open discussions with them and disagree with them alot, everytime i tell one of them "you're wrong cuz such and such" he tells me "so u read books and now u become so arrogant" I mean come on -theyre the serious type btw-... they make me doubt myself more than i used to, so what do you guys think?

Book Of Kells · Accepted Answer

I must say I commend you for trying to tackle your low self esteem issues.I was not that brave when I was your age and so this problem stayed with me for years into adulthood.
Your friends have grown accustomed to you saying nothing,or very little,and they are not yet comfortable with your new found confidence and attitude.You are in the process of re-inventing yourself and this has to be congratulated.
One word of caution,however,would be that sometimes the lines between assertiveness and aggression can be blurred.Whilst you think that you are displaying confidence and assertiveness,your friends may view your newly found confidence as bordering on aggression and arrogant and they may resist you.Try and keep tabs on your discussions and try not to make any of them look silly.I am sure that you want to show off your newly found confidence but if you want to hold on to your friends don't run before you can walk.

ME · Answer

Having a low self-esteem is not good.  But having too high of a self-esteem isn't good either, especially if it leads to arrogance and rudeness.  Here are positive ways you can fight low self-esteem:
http://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/teenagers/ask/overcome-loneliness/

genius4sure · Answer

Sounds like you need a new group of friends.

Carla · Answer

These videos talk all about that and you can hopefully get some good info out of them for yourself and your friend <3 
it's hard respecting yourself but never impossible :] you just have to start making decisions for yourself that make you happy. get a piece of paper and right down all of your strengths and things you like about yourself. don't let others decide who you are and start making things happen for you.
Hope these can help rather then me wright you a book<3


Dealing with depression- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG-mGeaegYU&list=UUCwo7E5TZo8QuuWeBfRqiTA 

dealing with people miss treating you- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fG-mGeaegYU&list=UUCwo7E5TZo8QuuWeBfRqiTA

gaining self-worth -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Vwsbg_CEvA&list=UUCwo7E5TZo8QuuWeBfRqiTA

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Fighting self esteem... leaded me to being lonely?

4 Answers