Advice from a military wife? I don't know how to get through this..?

As a Reservist who has deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, I will say this without trying to be as mean as it sounds. He is only in the Reserves. He isn't on active duty. When deployments are possible, there are a lot of unknowns and uncertainties. It is tougher on the Reserve side. Many of the Soldiers will be excited and hoping for a deployment. Some will be apprehensive. Reserve units are identified for upcoming deployments 1 year or so in advance. As the time gets closer, most of the deployments will be deleted. Because of the drawdown in Afghanistan and the time table for removing troops a lot of units, especially Guard and Reserve are being "off-ramped", i.e. deployments cancelled.

He won't be sent anywhere at a moment's notice. IF the deployment is on. IF he is put on the deployment battle roster. IF he is identified for deployment and not home station duty. He will have at least 30 days notice and will receive orders with a report date at least 30 days in the future. He will likely have 2 or 3 days at his unit and report to a mobilization station (a US base used for training) for 4-8 weeks. He will PROBABLY receive a 3-day pass at the end of training just before leaving the US. He will be overseas for up to 9 months and possibly as little as 6 months. He will return to the base he left from and have out processing for 4-12 days. He will then go back to Fort Living Room and get paid for the 25-30 days of leave that he has accumulated. While he is deployed, he will have access to email and Facebook. He may even be able to use phones at the USO or DSN phones where he is located to call home once in a while. Other than cell phone, he will probably have better computer connections overseas than at the training/mobilization station.

The longer the uncertainty drags on, the less likely it will be for him to deploy. Since troops will be out of Afghanistan at the end of the year, it doesn't make much sense for the military to go through the full time and expense of mobilizing a unit for a shortened tour. As a Reservist, he may go to Kuwait or someplace in Europe to assist in moving equipment and personnel back to the US. This could be what is causing a lot of uncertainty as the military tries to decide if it is better to leave equipment behind or ship it back to the US. His unit's mission could depend on these types of decisions that are still being made.