Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Trending News

Promoted
Lil Smith
Lil Smith asked in HealthMental Health · 7 years ago

Is he the narcissist or am I!!!?

My ex, who claimed I was the love of his life and whom I left a 6 year relationship for last year, because I was fooled by his words, left me in December, because despite me telling him I would always stay friends with my ex of 6 years, he used that as an excuse to break up with me, because we went through 2 weeks of arguments, when my dog of 15 years was severely ill and dying and for a small period of time he didn't come first...and I wasn't in a good state of mind...

When he so abruptly broke up with me right before Christmas, I started researching personality disorders and his behaviour matched perfectly with that of a Narcissist...and not so surprisingly, he came back to my life after three months, emailing me and saying I will always have a special place in his heart and that he was hurt and didn't know why we didn't work!(even though he was the one who dumped me, despite me drowning in a sea of self blame and apology, far more than my fair share, to save us!)

So I wrote him a letter explaining how he only wanted smooth sailing, and couldn't deal with a mild rough patch, and he wrote an email back blaming me even harder and more brutal than before, calling me abusive!!then I tried explaining to him how this wasn't true, providing him with facts and memories that contradicted his silly excuses, and afterwards, he seems to have stopped his mind games finally..can a narcissists come back to your life but his ego stop him from accepting any responsibility still?

Update:

He said I emotionally abused him and referred to the day he dumped me when I tried to cling on to him and not let him go (I HATE PDAs, it's hard for me to even hold hands in public!) but I begged this guy to give me a second chance and I hadn't even made a fundamental error..it's really hard for me to say sorry also...but I took on every sin for him...and he still blames me for harassing him, and damaging him more than anyone ever has..

Update 2:

Can I also add, that I didn't leave my ex of 6 years for him in a horrible way! We were drifting for about a year and he was going travelling, so when this man came along, he triggered what was kinda in the air for a few months, and he just sped things up I guess! Me and my ex of 6 years are still really good friends, and he supported me through this break up!we fell out of love but respect is still there! We are best friends!we got together really young..so..

Update 3:

All this made me doubt though...what if I am the narcissist? What if I really did damage him and emotionally overreacted and said hurtful things to him?

Update 4:

Sorry for the updates...can I mention he also has a string of 7,8 failed relationship, which according to his account, all but one were the girls' faults!

Update 5:

He showed almost no sympathy for my dog's illness.I remember he had to read a text conversation between me and me ex to actually learn how to console me regarding my dying dog.Prior to that he said things like:'I can't be there for you24/7about your dog,I have a life of my own' when I just wanted a lending ear at night.I myself fainted and went to the hospital from stress in that time and his reaction was just texting me saying:hope you feel well soon.' Before calling me at his convenience...

2 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    Does he berate you and call you a ton of Nasty names for little to no reason? Did he manipulate you? Did it almost seem as if he has no empathy for you? What you wrote doesn't really spell out Narcissist with either of you. Don't get me wrong, you both could have it, but from what you wrote it's hard to say. What you described seemed to be projection. He was calling you abusive when you seem to think he was the one being abusive. It's called projection, blaming the other person for what you have done to the relationship. It's pretty crazy making but that's what a Narcissist does.

    Like I said before, you didn't really go into a whole lot of detail about what is wrong with you or him. You could be a narcissist. They don't like to admit to their faults. If you were a Narcissist you would not actually tell the truth about what your part really is. And the same goes for him, if he truly has this disorder, he will never admit blame for his part in things. Either way, it doesn't seem like you two are a good match, so move on.

  • Anonymous
    7 years ago

    I doubt either of you really are Narcissists, you do seem to bring out the worst in each other though, from your description it appears, the both of you play-up the drama when you're together.

    So your relationship wasn't healthy.

    Don't worry, you didn't damage him, he didn't damage you, being together was just a bad-idea, it's too much of a rollercoaster for the both of you.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.