does a married person have a responsibility to perform sex?

I think so. We have a responsibility to our partners to make them happy. My best guy friend his wife won't have sex with him and hasn't in 3 years. He hasn't cheated but he's lost and doesn't know what to do. If she cared at all about him she would take steps to make it better not hide behind anti depressants. Personally I could never do that to my husband. Sex is important for mental and physical health. It relieves stress and builds your immune system. Not to mention being close to someone you love like that gives you a sense of peace or at least it should.

There is NEVER any grounds for cheating. If you feel that desire, you get a DIVORCE.

No, there is no obligation to have sex in marriage. If you feel that way, I feel sorry for whomever you marry or I hope you end up with some submissive, brainless woman.

There is no such thing as a RESPONSIBILITY to keep the partner satisfied. If your partner doesn't want to have sex with you and you want sex, ask for an open relationship. If she declines and your hand doesn't suffice, then ask for a divorce.

There's never any justification for cheating.

But, yes, I do believe that a husband and wife have this responsibility to each other. And since it's supposed to be about showing your spouse you love him or her, I don't get why one spouse would consistently refuse the other, unless there's a physical problem or the relationship is suffering in other areas. Maybe some marriage counseling would help. It's worth a try, before you do something drastic like cheat or divorce.

Well, first of all "that selfish behavior" isn't abusive (unless she's physically hurting you in some way) and it certainly isn't grounds for cheating (I'm assuming you mean YOU cheating). There is never an excuse for a married man or woman to cheat. None.

Now, if there's a problem sexually, the best thing to do is to go to couples counseling. There may be a physical or psychological issue that needs to come out and be treated.

As to tour original question, I don't think there is any "obligation" for one partner to submit to the other (since that's what you're asking here). A sexual relationship is certainly an important part of a healthy and loving marriage, and it's something that needs to be shared both ways. This is also something that needs to be discussed openly BEFORE you get married, especially if you weren't sexually active before the wedding. You really need to know where each other stands on this so there are no "surprises."

Go get some counseling, together.

I completely agree with you. I think the cause of most divorces are because one partner doesn't satisfy the other intimately or romantically. If the couple was sexually active before the marriage I don't see why they wouldn't be even more sexually active once they say their vows. However if a couple waits 'till their marriage night maybe one or both feel the need that they didn't do it before they got married so why should they now, (unless of course they are gonna have sex like bunnies once they get married :P) But yes I do think the couple should please each other sexually sure it doesn't have to be every day or every week but once a month or even once in a while (every few months) just to make the other person in the relationship feel even more connected to them.

It's a sad marriage indeed when sex is considered a chore--for either partner.

I know it happens but I am thankful that this isn't the case in my marriage.

I dont think it ever becomes grounds for cheating... as all you are doing is lowering yourself. However, everyone has needs and they need to be met. How you approach that is going to be the difference between a huge fight or awesome sex. I personally hate being like "talked" into it when im not in the mood.... but persuading me into the mood with sweetness or just random things that turn me on ( learn these!!!! Knowing me in and out is a huge benefit to my husband) will always win me over. But then again I need my needs met too, so this isnt an issue in my marriage.... only when its "that time" and if the mood is right or my husband is extra sweet and loving I am always down to help him out other ways when I cant just have sex....

I believe many woman are asexual. They know it, but for some reason they still date and marry heterosexual men. They want the the status and security of marriage. To have children. Or maybe they seek "normalcy" and think they have to be married at a certain age to be normal. Whatever the reason I think is wrong for a woman to marry a heterosexual man knowing she is asexual. Like many woman say on here, no man is entitled to sex. Likewise no woman is entitled to love, marriage, and a family. However both are entitled to honesty. Especially sexual honesty. If you plan to marry someone you should be honest about your orientation. For instance a gay man should not marry a heterosexual man just to please his parents. A heterosexual women should not marry a lesbian women for wealth or fame. Everyone would agree this would be wrong. For some reason people believe that heterosexual men don't have the right to the same consideration. That our sexual orientation should not be respected. We want to marry heterosexual woman. If you are asexual at least tell us. Be honest about it before marriage. Then we decide whether we want to marry you. The worst part is that inevitably the man will be labeled as a lousy lover when in reality his wife doe not want any man. That has to cut a man to his soul.

Nope. It doesn't matter what the pastor of your church or your parents taught you growing up. Just because you're legally bound to someone doesn't make them your property. They don't owe you anything and likewise you don't owe them anything. Which negates the whole reason to be "married" in the first place.

Stay single and free. It's not worth it.

sex is NEVER OWED TO ANYONE. Want more sex, make her enjoy it and she will want it too. it is not all about you. Men that complain about not getting sex from their wives usually do not make any effort to make the wife feel like she even wants to look at the guy much less have sex with him. And what about those men that have stopped having sex with their wives? Do they owe them sex as well? you have very immature ideas about sex and marriage