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I have no idea on what to do...do you?
I have 4 grown adult children. I pretty much raised them alone. 3 of them live 90 miles away, the other 4 1/2 hours away.
It seems like I do not get invited to any of their family gatherings. I'm the last o know of anything and when they do pass through my town, they usually don't even stop.
This has caused me to feel hurt, left out and really wondering what I did so wrong as a mother. I have my 10 year old granddaughter this week. I even ask her why she doesn't call me if she has her own cell phone. She has everyones phone number in her phone, but NOT MINE. I look forward to my 1 week every summer with her, but also feel now that I'm just being a free babysitter while her kids club shuts for one week and her mother doesn't have to worry herself with finding a sitter.
I love her dearly, I love my kids. But with the way I am treated by all, I just want to pack up and disappear! I doubt I'd be missed!
I had to have done something wrong with the way I raised them, in order to have all of them be such rude, unloving children. I also feel like just a rest area when they do decide to stop. They all use the toilet and go on their way. I just want to scream!!!! Would u just pack up and hide?
1 Answer
- TiredMomLv 47 years ago
Of course it's a bit difficult to tell if you have done anything wrong from what you have said, but the first thing that comes to mind is, do you call them? Do you reach out and ask them how they're doing, invite them over?
Kids are infamous for taking their parents for granted, so they have to be told that you want to see them and you want to be included, in a pleasant way, of course.
We all want to be around people who are self-satisfied and fun and welcome you in in an appreciative way much more than we want to be around someone who is whining about not being included. I'm not saying you're whining at all. I just am trying to analyze anything that could be the reasons.
As far as your granddaughter calling you, I would say you're the adult, and you should call her. You can't expect her to do that at her age. Ask to put your number in her phone. Call her up and say happy birthday and on other holidays. Send her a card and a little gift for all the different holidays. When she's there, go out for some fun activities. These are the things kids remember.
Invite your kids over to your house for family gatherings. I know they're at a distance, but try to plan something once or twice a year, tickets to a play, trip to a theme park.
Call them once a week.
You don't sound like you were a bad mother in any way, but try to include yourself in their lives in a fun way.