Seniors, what do you think when you look back on 40?

When I was sixteen and doing my school leavers exams I was dreaming of college, qualifications and a career in journalism working on magazines, then freelancing and eventually becoming a successful author. I ended up turning down college and embarking on almost thirty years of caring for my parents and family. I was forty-three, nearly forty-four, before I had my own life and by then I was too exhausted and stressed to do anything. It took me over ten years (seven of those under a psychologist) to "find myself" again and finally rediscover my dreams.

I am now sixty-three and just last month I had my first book accepted for publication next year and signed a contract for a second. I am doing now what I dreamed of doing at sixteen and, though I have never had the college education, I know am a better writer now than I would have been had I gone to college and worked as a journalist. I have retained my originality and my style hasn't been corrupted by the demands of bland magazine writing, and I have all those years of "Life" to draw on.

My life hasn't followed the pattern I had planned. I spent some terribly long, distressing and soul destroying years and then waded through what appeared an endless limbo. And finally, when I became a pensioner, I rediscovered my old passions and dreams and hopefully the rest will be History, as the saying goes.

Never give up! You can never tell what life has in store.... you're never too old.

I broke up with a long time boyfriend that I lived with when I was 37 and bought my own house. My early 40s I just worked a lot. I've never been married. By the time I was about 44, 45 the internet dating thing was starting so I did that. I met some real losers out there, that's for sure. But, I was trying to impress and I was in the best shape of my life physically. I looked young and I felt sexy and great. Problem was my heart was getting broken a lot.

I took a trip to New Orleans on a whim. I was devastated over some guy and crying. I wandered in the French Quarter in the rain. I know this sounds like something made up but it's the truth. I was sitting there having coffee at a café and all of a sudden I listened to the music on the street, I could taste the coffee and the pastry. I felt like I was healed. I knew that God wanted more for me than sorrow. I did go back on line and I met a great guy. We dated for two years long distance. By then I was 47 years old when we met. I ended up getting my heart broken again but I was stronger and I knew God was with me. I devoted my life to God, serving others, etc. We broke up when I was 49.

My best friend died the day after my 50th birthday.

So in short, I look at my 40s and think that I had a lot of fun with men, I traveled, I got hurt, and I found God.

Looking back over life, my forties were some of the best years of my life. That does not mean that overall those years were free of hardships and a all fun and games but good years non the less. By the way I never was 40, I was 39 going on 40, until I turned 50. At 73 I have been retired now almost 18 years and living life as life should be lived. Was a little on the ill side for several months, but all is good and healthy for now.

I don't think of much. I've been laid off for 7 years. Right now I do online volunteer work and enjoy that more than a real job. My health has always gone down hill ever since I was 10. I don't know what the next 10 years will bring, but I do the best I can, and live life to it's fullest every day.

That was some years ago. Now I look at the forty-year-olds and think they are very young.

I was quite lost back then. Negative thinking had gotten to its worst. You know you either get rid of it successfully or you accumulate more of it with age.

The midlife period is a crucial period to change what we don't like about ourselves.

I didn't want to be 40. I was still young! 40 sounded "old". My life was going well. My horrible exwife moved out, me and the kids were enjoying life. I still had women to enjoy, goals to achieve, and lots of fun times, before I got "old". I really didn't want to admit I was 40, and didn't want people to think I was 40. As a perverse "practical" joke, my kids invited all our neighbors, some of my coworkers, a couple of my girl friends, and ALL of their friends for a "surprise" 40th birthday party. Everybody seemed to enjoy my discomfort.

When each of them turned 40, I sent them a gigantic, bad taste, impossible to ignore gift, usually at their workplace.

Each of them has consequently apologized for the surprise party.

Look at it this way. 40 is the milestone where you can say anything about anything. "I can say that, because I'm 40." Not to worry. This funk, too, shall pass. Enjoy 40. When you get to 64, you will wish you were 40 again.

The best time of my life is now. That is true for everyone because "NOW" is the only time we have to live. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow never comes.

Like most people your age and under you have no backbone or intestinal fortitude. Everyone gets discouraged about their life. You have to snap out of it.

Not everyones life turns out like they dream of in their teenage years. I myself have a progressive neurological condition that gives me balance problems, whole limb muscle spasms (and back spasms but Madopar has graduallly decreased those ones), autonomic neuropathy (look that one up in 'pubmed' - it's a good all invasive condition affecting every automatic functioning of the body. Some people with my condition are in wheelchairs already, I am only 49. But a few months back I met someone worse of than me; mind you I do not feel sorry for myself! This young lady of 37 has a six month old baby, a 3 year old child and a wonderful husband. When she was in her mid-twetnies though she developed mengingococcal disease which ate away at her lower legs, some of her fingers, part of an arm and a bit of her nose - she is still beautiful though with her reddish-brown shoulder length hair, despite having no legs. And she still sees the good in life and other people, despite her loving husband developing early onset Parkinson's disease at 36 years of age, the warmth and empathy that flows out of this lady is amazing.

If ones problems are about the number of material possessions one has and whether they are higher up or down the corporate ladder than Joe Bloggs and how many times they have travelled overseas (travelled overseas - what's that?) then I would say that they need to start living in moment, be grateful for what you have and start self-actualising. Otherwise you will never be happy.

I was sent some quotes to today that I will share with you, if you don't mind. I do not have the authors names, though:

"Don't waste energy pursuing happiness. Chase the sadness from your life and it will find you."

"It's not about how much you love each other. It's about how you resolve your differences."

This is my favourite one:

"I suspect that the missing catalyst in western life is call belief. Not only religious belief, but also belief in oneself, in others and in the future. There exists a fjord-paced subtle movement to the ancient Egyptian adage quoted by the prophet Isaiah “Let us eat and drink; for tomorrow we shall die” . This nihilistic attitude belies a mistrust of all three – self, other, and future.

I feel we have lost belief in each other’s innate goodness, each other’s instinctive wish to please, each other’s loving nature. Nature abhors a vacuum. And the vacuum of belief is being filled by the demons of insecurity, puffery, bravado, anger, deceit, and fear – serious secondary infections from the one virus.

So allow me to offer ten cures – ten homegrown commandments:

1. Be humble and admit you aren’t in charge. And don’t pretend to be. The release of this heavy (and illusory) personal baggage will relieve you of a dozen neuroses and psychoses, and may even make you a likeable individual.

2. Make the conscious assumption that all people who enter your daily domain possess a wonderfully generous streak. Speak to that side of the person. See them in context of imitatio Dei (an image of G-d). Doing so actually draws on their innate higher qualities.

3. Go out right now and give someone a gift, a random act of goodness, to anyone at all. Your act helps change the world and allows people to recognize their self worth.

4. Give your children an extra kiss tonight. Demonstrate your trust in them and they will live up to your belief in them.

5. Forgive those who might have hurt you. It may change nothing – except you and your self-belief.

6. Climb a mountain. Fitness training, gathering the correct equipment, learning map-reading – all these are the spiritual tasks that allow you to climb the mountain of belief in a higher cause and purpose –your Mt. Sinai.

7. Draw on your compassionate egoless soul when facing challenge and adversity – especially when it is couched in rudeness, dishonor, and ethic-less behavior. Don’t just walk away (which may be a useful momentary strategy), but commit to assisting the other to change, slowly.

8. Speak softly. And check the propriety of the occasion before opening your mouth. Allow your voice to be an honest and reliable vehicle of your higher-self (Nefesh Elokit).

9. Wake up in the morning thanking the Creator for providing you, and you alone, with the unique opportunity to share your gifted self with the world, this day and every day.

10. Jews go to Synagogue on Wednesday morning (Shavuot occurs on Wednesday/Thursday of this week) for the ‘renewal of marriage vows’ between the Jewish people and G-d. We recommit to the ten vows – the ten commandments – adopted at the original Mt. Sinai ceremony. If you happen to be Buddhist, Christian, Moslem, B’hai, Hindu or any one of the other 70 spiritual soul types in creation, choose to believe in the future, in a higher Power that guides the world benevolently. (There’s a 50/50 chance that it’s for real. So hedge your bets!).

Transform your life with a spiritual drop of catalyst called Emunah (belief).