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I don’t know if I’m in love with my friend.?
We’ve known each other for close to ten years now and she was my first love. But I knew that nothing could ever come from it so I stopped trying to be her boyfriend and tried to be the best friend that I could. After that I still cared for her intensely but not romantically. A sort of love a brother would have for his sister. And that’s precisely what she’s like to me But now I don’t know. I just feel for her. I just want to hold her close and convey everything in that embrace. But here are two problems that I don’t.
1. I’m depressed. I’ve been battling it for months now and I know that I would have given in a long time ago if it wasn’t for her. She was the one that made me realise that is isn’t normal for people to think this way and to get help. She’s my rock in all this and without her I don’t think I would realise how seriously I was. She is always there. Every doctor appointment she’s there. She even sometimes waits outside the counsellors office waiting for me when I finish. I know I owe her my life. And I don’t know if this is the reason why I’m feeling more intensely about her. I don’t know if it’s because of her support that I feel dependant on her and that’s why I feel more for her. That I feel indebted to her because of how she has taken care of me and if that is making me feel closer to her.
2. I’m still struggling with issues from a relationship that wasn’t healthy for me. It was emotionally abusive and wasn’t mentally good for me. I’ve suffered a lot of anxiety because of it and it helped lead me to the state that I’m in. And I’m scared she might be some kind of rebound. I hope she’s not because she deserve so much more than that.
I’m also quite protective of her, especially around guys I don’t know or don’t know their intentions. I’m very war of them and I’ve been told more than once that I’m pretty off-putting. It’s something I’m trying to stop and I have apologised but she actually thinks it’s sweet of me to be protective over her.
I don’t know if I am in love with her, or if I am that I am because of the right reasons.
Thank you.
3 Answers
- 7 years ago
You definitely love her that's for sure. Maybe not romantically, as James said it sounds like your heart is reaching out. Maybe just wait it out for a few months and see if your feelings change because if she's just a rebound, chances are the feeling might fade away after a while.
If your comfortable, maybe try talking and hanging out with other females?? It might help get your head around your feelings. I know that if I have a crush on a guy, I befriend other guys to get my mind off him. You don't need to be romantically involved with those girls.
I hope I helped I wish you all the best :)
- Anonymous7 years ago
Oh no you love her, but like you said... it wouldn't work out in the long run. You're wounded from a previous unhealthy relationship, and depressed... so your heart is reaching out. She sounds like a stable friend in your life, and you once dated her; so she'll never truly be like a sister to you (maybe in your mind, but it will never be an emotional reality. Face it, normal human beings are not pondering the thought of being with their siblings)
She is there for you emotionally, so you feel that connection (or you feel her support in your life) but a lot of people have individuals like this in their lives. Friends are there when you're going through hard times. When you have an opposite sex friend being that caring ear during these times... it can get a little confusing emotionally.
When life is progressing at a better rate for you, you often see the picture with clearer eyes, and I'm afraid your vision is cloudy concerning whats best for you currently.
- 7 years ago
Flip a coin, heads for you want her, tails you want to remain friends. If you disagree or agree with the outcome then you know what your heart wants.
