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My dad is miserable, how do I help?
My parents don't live together, but they're not divorced. They're "figuring things out", but it's been like this for a couple years now. My dad left because he wasn't happy where we lived, so he moved to another city where he has more family and friends. He said that he wanted to start a business over there too. The business hasn't had much success and he has a huge debt.
My parents don't get along either. I think it's because of my dad's insecurity, which he makes quite obvious. For example, if I'm talking to him on the phone and I say "Bye, I love you." He just goes "Right, sure you do." Anything I say he just goes "sure, whatever". He doesn't believe that we love and care for him. But I'm not really close to my dad so it's just kinda awkward whenever we try and do stuff together. I don't really know what to talk about and he doesn't say much. I think he's depressed and I really want to help him but I don't know how.
On top of that, my mom said she's tired of raising me and my sister on her own so she just wants a divorce. My dad doesn't want that but there isn't much he can do if it's what my mom wants. I want to help him but I don't know how.
3 Answers
- 7 years agoFavorite Answer
A lot of people say you can't change anyone... sometimes you have to be able to recognize when it's necessary to change yourself. I understand that you really want to help your dad and I say go for it. Try spending more time with him, making him feel more important in the family, and showing him with just the little things that you care. He may not respond the way you would want him to. One gesture of love will not convince your dad that you do indeed love him a lot. Unfortunately, it will not be that easy. He may never get convinced completely. What you need to do is show him that you love him. Honestly that is the best you can do. Don't beat yourself over it too much if he doesn't see it immediately of if he doesn't see it at all. He needs to work on some things on his own too. Sometimes he needs to experience a little bit more to realize he needs professional help. You could also straight up let him know that you've noticed certain changes and moodiness - you could let him know you're concerned. But you cannot force him to do anything against his will. If he is not ready for treatment, then you just have to be patient and have faith that whatever happens will lead him to the correct resolution. Do your part and let him do his. All the best. Your concern for him is heartwarming.
- 7 years ago
Convince him to visit a psychiatrist. Honestly, sometimes medication is one of the only ways to solve this type of problem other than hitting the lottery. My Dad used to be miserable, depressed, have panic attacks on a daily basis but he turned into a new person after being prescribed to Xanax. Proper meds vary from person to person though so don't tell him to walk in and say "I want Xanax."
- TexasHoldEmJonesLv 67 years ago
He sounds depressed, and probably for a lot of reasons. You could say you want to talk to him, and go out to lunch with him. Get out a piece of paper, and make a "positive" column and a "negative" column. Be sure to think of a lot of positives ahead of time (kids who love him, his health, not homeless, stuff like that) and make sure he sees that he needs to be less negative. Even if he has to give up his business, he can do something else. If he gets divorced, he can start a new life and get a new girlfriend (and be sure to tell him if he does, you'll still love him). When one door closes, another opens.
