Any lonely people? Joke contest?

Three women die together and go to Heaven. When they get there, God says, "We only have one rule here in Heaven: don't step on the ducks." there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on one, and although they try to avoid them, the first woman steps on one. God comes with the ugliest man. He chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man." later, the 2nd woman steps on a duck, and here comes God, and with him is another ugly man. He chains them together. The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day God comes up to her with the hottest guy ever. He chains them together without saying a word. The woman, thinking that this is great, remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve this." The guy says, "Idk abt you, but I stepped on a duck."

The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"