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May asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 6 years ago

My friend makes me feel inferior and ugly?

I'd like to point out that she is NOT mean. She doesn't do anything to inflict these emotions on me-- it's solely me comparing myself to her.

Anyway, I've recently been beating myself up and comparing myself harshly to one of my close friends. She's as close as you can get to perfect, I think. She's beautiful, smart academically and naturally, funny, has a great family, has been everywhere (like 323423492374 countries), is healthy, has an amazing body, looks exotic, etc.

I'm usually not harsh on myself. I usually hold a decent image of myself- I'm not fat or unhealthy or dumb or anything like that. It's just that when I'm around her I feel myself dumbing myself down. I hate myself because I'm not as thin as her, even though it's physically impossible for me to be because we have different body types. I compare my personality with hers and point out all the flaws in mine that she doesn't have, for instance, she has lots of freedom and self-control and I don't think I have either of the two.

I don't know. At the end of the day I feel like a terrible person and hate myself because she's done nothing to inflict this sort of "pain" on me (on the contrary, she tries to be a good friend.)

What should I do? I really want to stay her friend because she's a great person and has done nothing to deserve this, but I also want to stop feeling like trash around her.

Thank you! xo

1 Answer

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  • 6 years ago

    As you said, she isn't at fault, you are, for being so hard on yourself. If you wish, a trip to a counselor may help you develop your self esteem and appreciate your unique qualities, so that you stop comparing yourself to her, or to anyone else for that matter. You need to become your own best friend! It isn't hanging around her that is causing you to feel put down, its what you are doing to yourself. Good wishes, Dr.S

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