BPD, Bipolar or something else? HELP?

In my own experience, most "good" psychiatrists won't diagnose you with bipolar if you're under 17, and this is for good reason. It's so hard to tell what disorder someone may have when they're going through a heap of hormonal changes. Often times, a diagnosis is not the most important part of treatment, although I think that it can help you understand what you're going through, which can be helpful.

In a period of one year when I was 15-16 I was hospitalised 10 times, six of those times in an adolescent psychiatric ward, generally after suicide attempts or just self harm/erratic behaviour. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and anxiety at 15. I was put on a few medications and have been seeing a psychologist regularly ever since. I'm 19 now. I was recently re-diagnosed with Bipolar type 2, and I finally feel like I have a diagnosis that suits how I feel my moods have been. However, it turns out that the medication I've been on for four years is pretty much the same as what I would have been taking if I had been diagnosed with Bipolar originally, so you can see that the diagnosis wasn't very important.

This is how it's been for me:

Periods of depression, lasting 2 weeks - 6 months, with suicidal tendencies

My depression symptoms:

- Social anxiety

- Lack of personal hygiene (showering MAYBE once a week), not brushing my teeth, etc.

- A change in eating habits (not eating until 4pm, then binge eating in the early hours of the morning)

- Withdrawing from family and friends

- Losing motivation in my studies

- Crying A LOT

- Self harm

- Suicidal ideation and attempts

- Sleeping for 16 hours a day

Periods of hypomania, generally lasting a few weeks at a time but I did have one hypomanic episode that lasted around 6 months

My hypomania symptoms:

- Short attention span (can't concentrate on one thing for more than a few minutes)

- Feeling extremely confident and untouchable

- Spending money on ridiculous things

- Chain smoking

- Binge drinking

- Socialising a lot more than I normally would

- Developing weird "quirks" (for example, during one episode I decided I HAD to be the one to open anyone's drinks if they had one. I would run around at recess and grab people's drinks and open them without asking, for no reason)

- Sleeping less, like 3-6 hours a night (when I'm not having an episode I generally sleep for 9-10 hours a night)

- Talking VERY quickly and loudly

- Interrupting and talking over people

- Forgetting what people said as soon as they finished talking

There are heaps more but off the top of my head, those have been the main ones. As you can see, my manic episodes are quite tame compared to those of people who have bipolar 1, which is why I'be been diagnosed with bipolar 2.

I will say, though, when I was 15-16 I was convincing myself that I had a lot of disorders that I really didn't, because a) I was dramatacising my symptoms and b) I really wanted an answer. In the end, it doesn't matter too much what your diagnosis is. I hope you can get yourself a support network of friends, family, and professionals who can help you.

I hope my story helps, even just a bit!

Now my own personal opinion (bearing in mind of course that I do not know you personally and so I don't have all the information) is that you don't have BPD or Bipolar 1. It sounds like your behaviour during your "highs" isn't erratic enough to warrant that diagnosis. I'm not saying you're not having severe symptoms, just that they don't exactly match up with those disorders. However, it sounds like you may have some depression, and I wouldn't be surprised after what you've gone through. You may have some symptoms of PTSD also, which could explain the anger you mentioned, and the mood swings. Bipolar 2 is also a possibility.

My last piece of advice: you will drive yourself crazy trying to diagnose yourself. Take it easy.

Good luck!

First and foremost, understand that bipolar depressive episodes must last at least two weeks to be diagnosed, and manic/hypomanic episodes must last at least one week. However, bipolar episodes normally last around two or three months on average. This means that when you're depressed, you're depressed for a few months. And when you're manic, you're manic for a few months. Bipolar episodes DO NOT last only minutes or hours all within the same day. This is the biggest misconception about bipolar disorder. And if people are telling you that they think you're bipolar, there's a 95% chance that they have NO idea what they're talking about (at least, in my experience, that's normally how things go).

If these episodes of mood that you're experiencing DO last for weeks or months at a time but you don't feel that your mania lives up to how others describe mania, you might be eligible for a diagnosis of bipolar II disorder. Bipolar II deals with episodes of depression and episodes of hypomania, a less severe form of mania. But, again, please understand that if your moods are not consistent over weeks or months, and instead change many times within hours or days, that IS NOT bipolar disorder.

Now, as for BPD. Technically, only five of the nine criteria must be met in order to be eligible for a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Nobody ever said which five of the nine must be met. In fact, many people get diagnosed with BPD even if they don't experience some of the more common and well known symptoms, such as impulsivity and fear of abandonment. Also, psychosis (delusions and hallucinations) is NOT necessary for a diagnosis of BPD. It's something that BPD can cause, but it's by no means included in diagnostic criteria. So, you're fine there.

The only issue is that personality disorders can only be diagnosed when you're 18 or older. You can certainly discuss the symptoms you're having with a professional, and they might agree that you're showing signs of BPD, but you cannot get an official BPD diagnosis for another few years.

Still, talking all of this over with your GP is good. They'll set you on the right path to getting to the bottom of your struggles.

A good therapist or counselor will be able to tell you what you have. They will be able to help you. You don't have to figure it all out yourself. Just be patient. It is good that you really care about your health, and want to learn more about what you have, and what to do. :-)

Whatever you have, usually the best thing is to do what you can to start healing yourself. Counseling is good. It helped me with my depression. Also, eating well and exercising help. For me, doing yoga and meditation has also helped. Meditation is a good way to calm your mind, which also calms your emotions. It is so good to learn that.

My favorite hobby now is volunteer work. Volunteer work feeds your heart. It makes you feel good about yourself. I would recommend volunteering, like for animals or the environment, or at a hospital, or anything like that.

Good luck,

David

www.healthysmoothies101.com

Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder which effects a persons mood and is caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. In bipolar disorder a person has mood swings from depression to mania (Mania which have to last 7 days and depression which has to last 14 days each to be diagnosed but generally last weeks or months at a time.) I developed bipolar when I was 15 and diagnosed at 18, when I was depressed I would sleep constantly, cry, wouldn't leave bed for days, didn't eat, wash, dress, constantly felt suicidal, hopeless and worthless, withdrew myself from family and friends and stopped going to school. This lasted for 6 months. Then I switched into mania when I was constantly full of energy and felt like I was on top of the world I was so happy, didn't sleep for days and if I did I would sleep up to 3 hours only but felt completely awake and full of energy, went out every night abusing alcohol and drugs, got into meaningless relationship, had sex with strangers, had so much confidence, spent every penny I had (I spent £5000 that wasn't even mine in 2 days) and even stole from my mum, shop lifted, racing thoughts, aggressive and irritable, psychotic when I would hallucinate and be delusional to the point I tried to jump over a moving car in a bid to film it and put it on the internet to become famous, I was constantly doing one thing to the next and I nearly failed college. This lasted for 4 months. Bipolar disorder is something that is very severe and effects your everyday life. I ended up being hospitalised because I was psychotic, hallucinating and delusional.

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is an emotional disorder which effects a person emotions (not mood) and it is not caused by chemical imbalances in the brain but how someone has processed their emotions over time usually due to childhood trauma. Symptoms include rapid mood swings due to emotional instability, thinking in only black and white, self harm, suicidal ideation and reoccurring attempts, impulsive and/or risky behaviour, fear of abandonment, eating disorders, unstable self image and sense of self, unstable relationships with family and friends, anxiety, depression, anger and aggression. Take me as an example, I have BPD and my emotions are everywhere. I will wake up feeling so happy bouncing off the walls for no reason and then the smallest thing like not being able to turn my computer on will make me so angry and when I say angry I mean so angry I will smash my things against walls and hit my boyfriend to get all my anger out and this will last around 2 hours until I break down crying for hours just because I couldn't turn my computer on! I self harm almost every day, attempted suicide over 6 times, only think in black and white, have bad anger outbursts and switch from one emotion to the next in seconds. I also have struggled with eating disorders for 3 years and engage in risky behaviour such as drug and alcohol abuse as well as impulsively spending all my money and taking overdoses on a daily basis. I was even hospitalised for it. Because it is not a chemical imbalance the best treatment is therapy for the person to learn techniques on how to control their emotions better. Some medications can help for symptoms such as depression and anxiety but it mainly therapy that is used to help people with BPD. BPD is diagnosed to those over 18 due to personalities changing up until 25 years old.

Borderline Personality Disorder is when someone has rapid emotional mood swings but they also feel emotions more easily, more deeply and for longer than others do. They have impulsive behaviour such as substance or alcohol abuse, eating disorders, unprotected sex, reckless spending and reckless driving. They often self harm and have suicidal ideation. They are over sensitive to the way others treat them, they take the slightest thing as a criticism. They often go from loving someone to hating them in a matter of seconds, minutes or hours. They have trouble knowing who they are, they have difficulty knowing what they enjoy and are often unsure about what their goals are.

You only have Bipolar if you have manic episodes, that is what Bipolar is mania. If you only have depressive episodes then you just have a diagnosis of Depression. Bipolar is mania with or without depression. BPD cannot be diagnosed until 18 or over unless the person is so ill with the symptoms they are hospitalised for it. Only a psychiatrist can diagnose both these disorders. Going to your GP is a good first step, they should refer you to CAMHS (Child and adolescent mental health services) where you will be assessed and seen by a psychiatrist and/or psychologist to help you with your symptoms. Good luck! :) x