i have a dilemma of sorts and prefer a woman's input?

Question

I've known this amazing rocker chick for almost two years now. Her bf died a little over two weeks ago . She's known him for 30 years. I'm 39 and she's 46. I've recently got over having feelings for my best friend Erica. Leah, the rocker chick was the woman I had a crush on before I met Erica about 7 months ago. I never did anything but tell Leah that I was crushing on her being that she was practically married to her bf. Now that Leah, due to tragic circumstances, is single and I'm over Erica I find myself actually fallen for Leah. Me and Leah have always gotten along great. She's been there for me and helped me deal with the Erica situation. Leah doesn't know I'm over Erica though. Leah has called me handsome often in the past and today was her first day back at work since he died and again she called me handsome today. Me and Erica got her flowers and a sympathy card and our mutual friend Brooke took them to her. My dilemma is how long should I wait till I ask Leah out. She's putting on a happy face right now but I know she's still hurting and not ready to date again. I don't want to jeopardize any chance I have with her by making my move too soon. But I also don't want to let the chance slip away by waiting too long and some other guy approaching her first. Plus I can't be that insensitive jerk that takes advantage of her vulnerable state. How long should I wait to make my move? I care a great deal for her and want a real relationship with her.

? · Accepted Answer

Just enjoy her and treat her well.  Believe it or not, she will let you know when the light is green by her words and actions... love can come in lightening fast!  Just let things happen nice n easy... that works best!

there is no set timing ...  I am sure she will appreciate you coming in here and there, not too much... to smother her... take some deep breathes, stay active, and don't shadow her every move... she will let you know if ... and when, she desires more from you and trust me, you will recognize that green light... when and if it goes on... :)  (even if you be sleepin'  the wheel, she will awaken you)>

Bruce · Answer

Probably in about 30 yrs. She may be open minded and leave a door open to you after you have been processed so as to  join her in an old folks home, Setting the jokes aside and keeping it real with you,. It won't work in your favor because anyone that's been in a relationship for that period time is devoted to that other person until death whether they are together in life even if one has left this life,. In short you'll have to shop elsewhere,,,   .

? · Answer

Personally, I would wait until after the first anniversary of her b/f's passing before making a move.  The first year is always the worst and the wait will be a bonding period.

Orla C · Answer

He only died a few weeks ago, for goodness sake. If you make a move now, you'll ruin everything.

Give her a year at least.

♠ Merlin ♠ · Answer

her partner of 30 years died 2 weeks ago and you want to knwo when you should make a move on her?

dont be THAT guy
just dont
let the poor woman grieve, in peace

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i have a dilemma of sorts and prefer a woman's input?

5 Answers