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lgerstmann1
lgerstmann1 asked in Arts & HumanitiesBooks & Authors · 6 years ago

what do you think of my story so far?

http://wp.me/P5GsKc-g

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  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    This character is powerfully annoying. Of course you don't want to create perfect people; everyone has flaws. Unfortunately you have spent most of this excerpt portraying him as a bratty ingrate before you have introduced anything about him that a reader might find likable. The adults are one dimensional cliches and there some usage errors.

  • ?
    6 years ago

    :)

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