Do i have any other choice?

I'm transgender ftm, and I live in a very transphobic house. My mom is a self professed TERF and my dad just thinks we're ****** in the head. He said he will not have one ever living under this roof. I hate having to fake trash talk transgenders just to keep off suspicion. I want to disconnect all contact and never talk to them again when i graduate highschool, but I don't know. I love them, they love me, but only as their daughter. They've never hit me or restricted me but they'll never except who I want to be. If i do end up never talking to them again I don't know if it should be before or after college because i want to start transitioning but i don't know if its possible to hide the affects from them for that long. I don't want to disconnect, they've only been good to me and I'll absolutely break their hearts but when I think of all the crying suicidal nights I've had just because of something they said I know I can't deal with it any longer than i have to. I need advice, this decision haunts me. Should I cut them off after school, wait till college is over, or not do it at all?