I am trapped in myself?

All my life, I was a boy. I have facial hair, a deep voice, I am a perfectly sound physical male. But since early starting school, my feminine side was the dominant one and it still is. I always referred girls games, music and fashion. Being around girls makes me more comfortable. I feel like I am trapped in a boy's body. I Identify as a girl, I am a girl on the inside. It caused a lot of depression and suicidal thoughts even attempts. I want so hard to just reverse my whole life and be born as a girl. But the huge problem is that if I openly express it, which I really want to do, I am sure to be shunned and laughed at. I came out as transgender to my parents recently. As you can imagine they were like "we accept it, but keep it hidden and don't express it in ANY way"...Even though it's what I am. I'd wear skirts and pink clothes openly if society wasn't so intolerant. In my country, the republic of Ireland, if you have a medical card, all medicine and surgery is free, the government pays for it. I want a sex change, I want to be a girl on the outside. It depresses me greatly to have to hide it. My parents might never accept me, I'd lose what little friends I have...It hurts to have to continue being something I'm not just because society points their fingers and judges like their own opinions are right over anyone else's. I'm stuck, what do I do? I'm a girl trapped in the wrongly sexed body. I'm 18 btw. I wish I was never born :( what do I do?