What do you think of my sonnet?

This has its savable moments, but it really does need some work.

Try not to repeat "sweet" in the first stanza; think of a synonym.

If it's a "dance" you're trying to convey, why do you add "marching"?

Why "rapid rhymes"? What are you trying to say here?

"solemnly rights"? This is pretty meaningless.

"immortal hips" is unintentionally hilarious, an obviously forced rhyme with "lips"

"calm" is an OK rhyme with "harm", though

Also, you would do well to heed any negative comments and not get all tetchy. Your question was "What do you think of my sonnet?" and a decent poet would realise that this sonnet is deeply flawed, and work on it.

No more must I give your life any worth!

Good. One less wanna bt poet in the gene pool.

The meter totally fails. "Iambic pentameter" does not mean simply "10 syllables per line."

"Solemnly" is not an adjective.

"Immortal hips" is a hilarious image, although I doubt you meant for it to make me laugh.

You used absolutely no punctuation, except in the last two lines where suddenly there are exclamation points galore. WTF?

You tortured the meaning in order to force the rhyme-word "harm" -- and all for nought, because "harm" doesn't rhyme with "calm" anyway.

I think it blows.

And your drunken, ignorant "defense" of it in the comments blows even harder.