is this depression..?

horrible feelings. lately ive ha horrible feelings like i wake up and if its sunny i just get this horrible horrible feeling, i dont know what it is and i ant desribe it, it just feels so extremly horrible and i dont know why i have this feeling coz logic, and my mind tell me its not a bad thing that its sunny, like i can go horseriding but i get the horrible feeling anyway its kinda like its not ok, its not suppose to feel like this. another time is when i wake up at a friends house and i know im fine and i dont even wanna b at my house but i get a different horrible feeling like its not ok and i always think of drinking water,